My husband and I were walking at the beach the other day when he said he wondered how the open water looked – next thing I knew he was off climbing the hills of frozen sand and ice to get a good view. I stood there for a minute, wondering how badly I wanted to see the water. There was a mound of frozen sand, then 2 decent sized hills of ice between me and the view. Do I really want to see it or do I just want to stand here on the flat, frozen sand of the beach?
Here I am, very comfortable with my place, walking along enjoying the beach. My view is a bit limited with a bluff on one side and ice hills on the other, but I am happy. Suddenly my situation isn’t as comfortable. The guy who was sharing my limited view has gone off to take in more. I’m not happy with my limitation now, but I don’t want to climb this stuff. I mean really, the last time we were on chunks of ice like this, the dog broke a nail in half, right down to the quik. Now Tom is over there and one foot just went through the ice that had skinned over a puddle so he has one wet, frozen foot. If I stand here I am safe. I know the terrain and I know what’s going on. If I start climbing, all kinds of icky things could happen.
Feels an awful lot like the place we find ourselves when we are unhappy with a portion of our life. I can stand here where I have been comfortable and I know what’s what. OR I can go over there, climb some new terrain, risk some minor injuries, and get the life that guy has.
I chose to climb – both in my life and on the beach – and the view is spectacular!
Are you ready to make your life better? Go ahead - start now - create a happy life!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Lessons from the Beach - Changing Landscapes
I was walking along the shore of Lake Michigan yesterday amid the ice, snow and sand. It was an interesting landscape as we had 2 feet of snow on the ground last week, but Saturday was almost 60 degrees so the ground has changed considerably. What was frozen solid is now shifting sand. Where I wouldn't tread if I didn't want boots full of snow is now open and clear to walk. Yet I still can't see the lake for the frozen ice piled into hills at the shore line.
This felt so much like my life as I navigate change. Areas that were once stable and comfortable for me become difficult and I can sink unexpectedly. Places I would never have tread are now open and welcome me. And yet, even as I navigate new areas I can't always see the entire landscape, sometimes there are mountains of ice blocking my view.
It's a new landscape and it takes time to learn how best to navigate. Sometimes you sink and get sand in your shoes, and sometimes you slide on an unexpected patch of ice and land on your fannie. But it is exciting and invigorating to get out there and explore. It is fun to tread new land, and it's incredible to look at those hills of ice.
This felt so much like my life as I navigate change. Areas that were once stable and comfortable for me become difficult and I can sink unexpectedly. Places I would never have tread are now open and welcome me. And yet, even as I navigate new areas I can't always see the entire landscape, sometimes there are mountains of ice blocking my view.
It's a new landscape and it takes time to learn how best to navigate. Sometimes you sink and get sand in your shoes, and sometimes you slide on an unexpected patch of ice and land on your fannie. But it is exciting and invigorating to get out there and explore. It is fun to tread new land, and it's incredible to look at those hills of ice.
Friday, February 6, 2009
It's Your Lunch
"...I report a conversation with a colleague who was complaining that he had the same ____ stuff in his lunch sack day afet day.
"So who makes your lunch?" I asked.
"I do," says he.
Robert Fulgham from It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It
How many times do you hear people complaining about things only to realize that they are creating the situation themselves? Are you doing that? Listen to yourself and discover what is bothering you about your life then do what you can to change it. It's your lunch and it's your life - make it good!
"So who makes your lunch?" I asked.
"I do," says he.
Robert Fulgham from It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It
How many times do you hear people complaining about things only to realize that they are creating the situation themselves? Are you doing that? Listen to yourself and discover what is bothering you about your life then do what you can to change it. It's your lunch and it's your life - make it good!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Solving a different problem
Seth Godin's blog post today is just great!
In your life, are you just trying to make something better than it was, or are you really solving the problem (the thing that's bothering you)?
When we feel uneasy, frustrated or unhappy it's easy to look around and place the blame somewhere in our life. We can say, "If only this was better I'd be happy". But is that true?
I'll tell you what I've found. When we make the effort to get to the root of what's bothering us we can then find a true solution. Rather than just "making something better" we can solve the real problem and enjoy the happiness that comes with it.
In your life, are you just trying to make something better than it was, or are you really solving the problem (the thing that's bothering you)?
When we feel uneasy, frustrated or unhappy it's easy to look around and place the blame somewhere in our life. We can say, "If only this was better I'd be happy". But is that true?
I'll tell you what I've found. When we make the effort to get to the root of what's bothering us we can then find a true solution. Rather than just "making something better" we can solve the real problem and enjoy the happiness that comes with it.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Moving On
"If judgement were suspended a bit more often we would like us more." -- Robert Fulghum in It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It
While Mr. Fulgham was referring to judging other people, this is incredibly true for ourselves. I think much of what we don't like about ourselves, and much of what makes us feel bad, comes from judging ourselves and our actions. What if you weren't so hard on yourself? What if you just chose to live up to your morals, and when you made a mistake you noticed the lesson (made amends if necessary) and moved on without the guilt, mental abuse and baggage we tend to create? It would certainly be easier to move forward if you weren't carrying a ton of baggage.
What would it be like if you dropped the guilt? What if you freed up space in your brain spent rehashing everything you did wrong?
Certainly you'd have more space for creative thought and new ideas. You'd have more energy cause you don't have to carry such a big load. Mistakes happen. That is how we learn. Clean up the mess as quickly as possible and move on!
While Mr. Fulgham was referring to judging other people, this is incredibly true for ourselves. I think much of what we don't like about ourselves, and much of what makes us feel bad, comes from judging ourselves and our actions. What if you weren't so hard on yourself? What if you just chose to live up to your morals, and when you made a mistake you noticed the lesson (made amends if necessary) and moved on without the guilt, mental abuse and baggage we tend to create? It would certainly be easier to move forward if you weren't carrying a ton of baggage.
What would it be like if you dropped the guilt? What if you freed up space in your brain spent rehashing everything you did wrong?
Certainly you'd have more space for creative thought and new ideas. You'd have more energy cause you don't have to carry such a big load. Mistakes happen. That is how we learn. Clean up the mess as quickly as possible and move on!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Harder or New?
Often times when people hit a road block they say, "I just have to work harder". What if it wasn't about working harder? What if it was just about trying something new?
There is an old saying that goes like this: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Are you doing this? Are you stuck on something but just doing the same old things - and working harder and harder at them?
What if it wasn't about working harder? What if it was about trying something different? Different might even be easier. Give it a whirl. Choose something where you feel stuck and do something different (if you don't have any ideas start asking around or reading some new books or checking new blogs for ideas). See what happens.
There is an old saying that goes like this: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Are you doing this? Are you stuck on something but just doing the same old things - and working harder and harder at them?
What if it wasn't about working harder? What if it was about trying something different? Different might even be easier. Give it a whirl. Choose something where you feel stuck and do something different (if you don't have any ideas start asking around or reading some new books or checking new blogs for ideas). See what happens.
Turning a bad situation around
Okay - we're talking about choices and here's a great example of using choices to turn a bad situation around.
My husband had an unpleasant conversation/argument with our pre-teen daughter yesterday and was upset about the way he handled it. He vented for a few minutes and then chose to move on. He could have sat around berating himself for the way he handled things, but he chose to say, "This is where I am, what can I do to move forward?" And every time a negative thought came into his mind about the argument he chose not to dwell on it. Instead he focused on all of the things that make him a great husband and dad (a list loving provided by his wife:)
The result? He and our daughter forgave each other, suggested a better way of handling it next time, and moved on. Our family was able to enjoy the rest of the day.
Every moment of every day isn't always great. But you can lessen the unpleasant and ugly stuff and increase the good stuff with your choices.
My husband had an unpleasant conversation/argument with our pre-teen daughter yesterday and was upset about the way he handled it. He vented for a few minutes and then chose to move on. He could have sat around berating himself for the way he handled things, but he chose to say, "This is where I am, what can I do to move forward?" And every time a negative thought came into his mind about the argument he chose not to dwell on it. Instead he focused on all of the things that make him a great husband and dad (a list loving provided by his wife:)
The result? He and our daughter forgave each other, suggested a better way of handling it next time, and moved on. Our family was able to enjoy the rest of the day.
Every moment of every day isn't always great. But you can lessen the unpleasant and ugly stuff and increase the good stuff with your choices.
Monday, February 2, 2009
A New Moment
I opened "The Weekly Whisper" this morning and Vanessa was telling me how every moment is new. She was talking about how whatever is happening in this moment has never happened in exactly the same way before. That everything is new and everything begins anew.
I agree - every moment is new. Every minute of our lives has never happened before, and while we may feel like we are moving through days, we are really moving through minutes. Our life is an accumulation of these minutes. The way we live them, and the choices we make during them, shape and form our lives.
So when we want something new or different for ourselves it is easy to look back and see how it hasn't happened; to list off all the things we've done that should have gotten us where we want to be. It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves, to let frustration, anger or despair take over.
But, what if, in this moment, you make a different choice? What if you choose to look forward instead of back? What if you look at all that is good in your life instead of what is missing? What if you choose to do something that moves you toward the life you want? How would that change this moment? This day? Your life?
I agree - every moment is new. Every minute of our lives has never happened before, and while we may feel like we are moving through days, we are really moving through minutes. Our life is an accumulation of these minutes. The way we live them, and the choices we make during them, shape and form our lives.
So when we want something new or different for ourselves it is easy to look back and see how it hasn't happened; to list off all the things we've done that should have gotten us where we want to be. It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves, to let frustration, anger or despair take over.
But, what if, in this moment, you make a different choice? What if you choose to look forward instead of back? What if you look at all that is good in your life instead of what is missing? What if you choose to do something that moves you toward the life you want? How would that change this moment? This day? Your life?
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