Pegged by the hot dog guy

My husband and I went up town yesterday to have one of our favorite lunches ~ hot dogs down by Lake Michigan. We went to our favorite hot dog vendor and while we were chatting with him he told us something really interesting. He knows things about people based on what they put on their hot dogs. I know this is true because he had already asked me if I liked my sweets (and those of you who know me know how much I've always loved sugar ~ Yes, I can eat a 6 pack of Pez without blinking an eye and still crave more).

And that's a skill we can all learn, not eating Pez but noticing things and seeing relationships. In fact, it's one of the most helpful things I've learned in my life to help me create better relationships and bring more happiness into my life. I've learned to pay attention to how I feel or react to something and what that means. I've noticed that if I read one 'beach book' it's fun but if I start reading 2, 3 or 4 back to back it affects my mindset and my thoughts tend to become more negative. I've watched my children and know when to answer their concerns and get into a big discussion and when to just let them blow off some steam or change the course of the conversation.

By noticing little things, small shifts in feeling or body language, I have learned a lot and made my life easier and happier. I can 'nip things in the bud' and make adjustments before they become a problem. I can find ideas and discover inspiration. It's not hard, it just takes a little time and a willingness to look, listen and feel.

One step

Sometimes things feel overwhelming, from a single task to your entire life. I find the simplest solution to moving forward in the face of overwhelm is a single step.

Take your task, your day or your life, choose one small step that seems manageable.

This morning I was cuddled up in my cozy warm bed thinking about how I 'should' go for a run with my dog. I thought about being out in the cold, huffing and puffing my way around the neighborhood (most likely carrying a little plastic bag with a gift from my dog) and promptly rolled over and pulled the covers up to my chin.

The contrast was just too big, it felt overwhelming. So I decided to just get out of bed. That's it. No grandiose plans for the morning or the day, just crawl out of my cozy spot into the cold house. I don't know at this moment if I'll run or not, but I am up and I've written this blog. Now I'm off to get dressed and at least walk the dog. We'll see what happens from there - less pressure, one step at a time, usually yields pretty good results.

Living with a pusher

I was walking on the beach with my hubby and my dog yesterday and having a great time. We walked a ways in the freezing sand in my bare feet. I told Tom I'd like to turn back when we reached about about half the distance would normally walk. My feet were aching a bit from the really cold sand and they already had sore spots from walking around in heels all afternoon & evening the day before.

He was really nice about it because he understood I didn't want to make my feet sore to the point where I couldn't run or hike the next day. However, and this is the big BUT, he also didn't feel like he or the dog had gotten enough excercise.

So the pushing began....

First it was, "Let's run back." So I said okay and started jogging. He and dog ran (those of you who run certainly know the difference) and, since I had already showered and dressed for the day I had no intention of getting all sweaty so I just jogged.

The pushing continued....

We reached our starting point and it was, "Let's walk to cool the dog down." Again I said okay, after all, the dog does need to cool down. So we walked.

And there was more pushing....

After a few minutes I said I wanted to head back to the car and he says, "Let's just walk to the sign over there". I say okay.

And she puts a stop to the pushing....

So we walk, and when we reach the sign he keeps on walking This is the point where I said no - I'm done, I have work to do and I want to go home. Of course Tom pleasantly agreed and we headed back to the car and on home.

What was fascinating was to watch the pushing. I know he does this when it comes to excercise. I'm sure I do it to him in other areas. But what I saw today was 2 things:

• The benefit of living with a pusher. He gets me to do more than I would have done by myself. I know it's true (and sometimes that annoys me too :) Having someone to push you can be a real help.
• If I keep going it is my choice. He may push me, but I'm the one who's letting him. If I don't want to do it all I have to do is say no.

Bring on the obstacles

"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably isn't leading anywhere." ~Clark

This quote made me pause & think for a minute. As I thought about my most interesting and most exciting journeys in life, it is often the obstacles that made them worthwhile. Whether they made the trip interesting or they gave me the skills I needed to reach the end, it wouldn't have been a fabulous trip without them.

I know that's easy to say once I've already walked that road and handled the obstacles. But if I think about it in the more ordinary aspects of my life I come to the same conclusion. The camping trip where it rained all weekend (how do you make the trip fun and worthwhile in spite of the rain?) The decorating project where the paint goes up on the wall and looks like something unmentionable. The road trip where all the roads are under construction and you begin to wonder if it really is true that "you can't there from here".

These are all things that have happened to me and my family and these are the times that give us the best stories, fondest memories and most inspiration. Seriously, how many family stories do you have about the trip that went perfectly? The ones I hear people tell are about the unexpected and out of the ordinary ~ and how they handled this, overcame the obstacles and created fun in the process.

Having it all

I was watching "The Women" last night and was really intrigued by some one of the characters.

Meg Ryan's character had an incredible opportunity offered to her and she said she needed to think about it. Everyone was flabbergasted that she didn't just jump for joy and kiss the feet of the woman offering her "her big break". And I loved it!

Here is someone who 'gets it'. She understands that success and happiness are about doing what makes you happy, not what everyone else thinks you should do. Someone who sees that 'some boutique orders' could make her happier than supplying all of the Saks stores. Someone who knows that spending time with her daughter is more important to her, and will make her happier and more fulfilled than building an empire.

She knew her own heart and made the choices that supported her desires and her vision for her life and I wish us all the strength and vision to do the same.