You always have a choice

You always have a choice. That's what my dad always said to me growing up. Whenever I would balk about something and complain he would counter with, "You always have a choice". I hated hearing that, just as I'm sure you won't like it either when I say it to you when you are facing a difficult situation - "You always have a choice!"

I know there are times when we all feel cornered and we end up doing things we don't like. During those times we often mumble about being forced into it or not having a choice. The truth is that you do. It is just that the other options were things you immediately dismissed and the unpleasant thing you find yourself doing was the most acceptable choice in that situation.

Why does this matter? Because when you realize that you are choosing to do the thing you are doing, when you acknowledge the control you have, it actually helps. You start to see choices where you thought you had none. You feel better about doing things you don't particularly like because you see it as something you are choosing to do and you can compare it to doing something you truly don't want, or aren't willing to do.

Taking this to the extreme is a saint. Maximilian Kolbe was in Auschwitz when 10 men were chosen to starve to death in order to make a point. One of the men had a family and was lamenting what would happen to them. Most of us would feel horrible but helpless in this situation. After all, what could we possibly do? We aren't in charge. Maximilian Kolbe realized he had a choice, he volunteered to take the man's place.

Thankfully we are not making that kind of a choice, but we do have difficult choices in our lives. Do you let your adult child move back home? Do you move your parent to a nursing home? Do you stay in a job you hate?

There isn't a right or a wrong choice here. There is only creating the life you want. Realizing that you are creating it can help you enjoy it. Imagine these two scenarios. In the first scenario your family has come to the realization that your elderly parent cannot live alone. Perhaps you don't relish the idea of having them live with you and you are miserable and angry about the change in your life. You feel trapped and unhappy. You lament about how unfair it is and how your life has changed. In the second scenario you have the same situation but you evaluated all your options and you chose to have your parent live with you. You feel this is the best option for everyone involved, and while it isn't always easy you feel this is the right thing. See a difference?

The difference is in the outlook. It is in the way you feel about your decision. Do you feel trapped and pushed or in control and making the best choices for you? It doesn't mean things will always be easy - it does mean you can feel better about them by changing your attitude. They say attitude is everything and it can certainly make a huge impact in the way you feel about your choices.

You always have a choice - what do you choose?