Is the snow stopping you?

I was watching my dog in the snow this morning. It's the first snowfall of the year and we got 6 inches, which of course drifts and collects right where the dog goes in the yard. So here he is, barely awake, really needs to relieve himself, and there is snow up to his belly. So what does he do? He walks around a bit, clearing snow by walking through it, then does what he came here to do.

How often does snow pile up in our lives? You've been looking forward to a vacation and something goes wrong. You were really excited about your new business and it was harder than you expected. You very much want this relationship to grow and you find obstacles. That's just snow piling up in our lives. We can choose what we do next.

We can go back inside and hide under the covers, waiting for it to melt.
We can walk through it to get where we want to go.
We can shovel it out of our way.
We can put on snow shoes and walk on top.

What do you really want? What snow is in your yard? What are you going to do with it?

A Simple Thank You

I was reading Soul Proprietor by Jane Pollak and one of her little lessons (Lesson 21) is about saying thank you. She points out that when we downplay someone's compliment to us we are downplaying the person who said it. Think about it for a minute. Imagine you are at the local park. Now you notice something special about someone and you just have to tell them. You walk up to them and give them a compliment. You are standing there, next to them, because you wanted to share something nice with them. They smile at you and say thank you. How do you feel? Pretty good huh?

Now rewind and go back in time. You just saw this person and noticed something special about them. You walk up to them and give them a compliment. Now imagine them laughing it off, or downplaying your compliment. How do you feel? Certainly not as good as you did a few minutes ago. When they reacted negatively it's like you handed them a gift and they just set it aside without even saying thank you.

The next time someone gives you a compliment, accept it for the gift it is. You may even imagine them handing you a beautifully wrapped package. Just smile and say thank you - and know you are giving them a gift in return.

Throwing Out Your To-Do List

I’ve had a few weeks where things have gotten busier and busier. I’ve been using my casual time management techniques but I started to feel rushed. My to-do list was growing both on my computer and in my head. I felt pulled from one idea to another and at the end of the day I never felt like I’d gotten enough done. Ugh! I really don’t like living this way.

I’m grateful that I’ve learned to recognize these feelings because and I know the next step is feeling out of control and I REALLY don’t like that feeling. It starts to feel like I’m on a roller coaster and I do NOT like roller coasters.

Have you ever experience this? Waking up in the morning with your mind in a twirl and not wanting to even start your day? We all have, and what I encourage you to do is to learn to recognize the way you feel as you come to this point. As you learn to identify the feelings involved you can start to identify the problem earlier and earlier in the cycle so you can fix it before you become miserable, or life combusts.

Yesterday morning I made a choice to step it up a notch and use a little more rigorous time management and priority management in my life. Just one little shift on one day and I feel great! I know what’s getting done – and just as important, what’s not getting done. I feel good about what I am accomplishing each day. And best of all it only takes a few minutes to do. Actually I’m spending less time planning now than I was a few days ago and I feel great!

If you would like the details about what I did to shift my feelings just visit http://www.choosemylifenow.com/articles/throwingoutyourtodolist.html and read the article Throwing Out Your To-Do List

Girls' Weekend

I had a great weekend with all my “girls”! I took my daughters and drove across state. We went to visit their friends, my friends, my mom and my grandma. It was a really nice time and I am grateful for such wonderful people in my life. It is a gift to have loving relationships in our lives and I wanted to take a few minutes and just be grateful for the great family and friends who are part of my life.

I am so glad we chose to spend our time in this way. While this wasn’t the original intent, it was rejuvenating. I am grateful for our great “girls only” weekend. What are you thankful for?

PS I'll be posting some photos on Facebook in a couple days. Check 'em out!

Are you part of a "bunch"?

During lunch today my husband asked if the Tidbits ReclaimU sends out are sequencial or just on various topics. When I said various topics my daughter chucked out a comment about sending tips on separating your bananas so they don't ripen as fast (yes, she thought it was funny). What was really funny is where my mind goes from there.

Hmmm. Bananas ripen faster in a bunch. Do people work the same way? Do we achieve success faster in a "bunch"? I think so. Mastermind groups, collaboration, affiliate programs and membership programs are all examples of people achieving more success, or faster success, in a group.

So think about it. Do you have a "bunch"? Do you have a group of people you can turn to who support you? If you don't, I highly recommend finding one. It's a wonderful thing to be part of a "bunch"!

Get Your Key To Happiness

How Gratitude Brings You all the Joy You Can Handle

People ask us why gratitude gets its own section in the ReclaimU Phoenix Center. Great question! Because gratitude is the key to happiness.

Have you ever met someone who was happy who wasn’t grateful for what they have? No way! You can’t be happy if you are grousing and only focusing on what you don’t have. The only way to truly be happy is to have gratitude.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow. ~~Melodie Beattie

You can be happy with nothing, or with everything. You can be happy about reaching a goal, and you can be happy on the way to the goal by having gratitude for what you have and what you’re experiencing.

They say success breeds success, and we say gratitude breeds happiness.

How can you increase your gratitude and get closer to your happiness? There are many things you can do and here is a simple start. Each morning list 3 things you are grateful for. Before you go to sleep at night read what you’ve written in the morning. Let yourself really feel the appreciation you have for those things. Repeat each day for the next week and see what happens.

We invite you to share something you are grateful for at the ReclaimU Thank-fest. As our way of showing gratitude for all of you, we are giving away 5 Phoenix Center memberships to people who join in the Thank-fest at http://www.ReclaimU.com/thankfest.html

Standing on a ledge

Moving past procrastination to reach your dreams

I was reading Gail Goodwin's blog and she had an amazing post called Born to Fly. It was absolutely amazing and got me thinking about how people get stuck.

Are you thinking about changing something in your life? Do you find yourself complaining about someone or something in your life a lot? Have you been waking up wishing things were different? Then you’re probably standing on a ledge.

Think about what it’s like to be on a ledge. It would be uncomfortable, no comfy chairs, no fridge and nothing much to do. It would be scary. Looking out over that drop off the side of a cliff could be awfully scary. You may feel trapped. Being faced with a huge drop off or an impossible climb up the side of a cliff would leave you feeling like you don’t have a choice.

So what do most people do in this situation? They panic, complain or become paralyzed by fear. None of those things will get you off the ledge. So perhaps it’s time to think outside the box.

Have you called for help? Sometimes when we’re stuck it’s because we just don’t have the particular skill to get through a situation. That is the time to call out for help. There are coaches, consultants, friends and mentors who can help – all you have to do is ask.

Are there hand and footholds on that wall that would let you climb up? Take a step back and reassess your situation. Try looking at it from different perspectives, or even asking others to look at it. Sometimes we just need a different perspective to see a way forward.

What if you could fly off that ledge? Have you been building your skills and your confidence? Maybe it’s time to take that leap of faith and believe you can fly.

Whatever your way off the ledge, the key is knowing you can get off and doing something. Sitting around will not get you where you want to be.

Take a careful look at your life. Are you standing on a ledge? Identify it and choose an action you will take to get yourself off the ledge. Whether it is asking for help, finding a new perspective, or taking a leap of faith, do something that moves you forward. You can reach your dreams when you are ready to fly.

Don't get stuck in the "More Loop"

I just read Darren Rowse’s blog post on Twitter. He was answering questions from someone on how to get more followers in Twitter. Basically the person asking advice kept asking how to get more followers, and Darren kept asking why he wanted them and what he wanted to achieve on Twitter.

This made me think about how often we get caught up in the "More Loop". I gotta have more:
• Time
• Money
• Kids
• Clothes
• Respect
• Friends

The list is as long and as varied as there are people on the planet, but my question to you is the same as Darren’s to the Twitter guy – why? What is your purpose with this?

Do you really need more time, or are you spending your time in a way that doesn’t really make you happy?

Do you really need more money? What would you do with it? Would that be enough? Or are you spending money to try to buy your way to happiness?

I see so many people torturing themselves, chasing after "More" of something and believing that if they could just get more ____ then they will be happy.

Whatever it is, you may really want more, and more may really make you happy. But take a few minutes and consider the possibilities. Could you be happy with what you have? If you are asking for expansion, what would you do with it?

When you are clear on your priorities and are being true to them in your life, you will not only be happier now, but you will be happier when you get more. More of what you love will truly make you happier.

See, the guy on Twitter says he wants more people to follow him. But what if he has 12,000 people following him and no one wants to buy from him, do business with him, or build a relationship with him. Do you think he’ll be happy then? No. And what do you think his solution is likely to be? Get more followers. He isn’t focusing on what he really wants and no amount of followers will fix that.

Are you focusing on what you want?

Lessons from the beach - hard packed sand

I'm watching the waves run over the sand it reminds me of the way our lives work. The waves just keep rolling over the sand, washing away all the loose bits. What's left is just the core, the really hard packed base that we can walk on easily.

That's kind of how time and events work in our lives. If we just let the unimportant bits, all the loose sand, wash away, then we are left with the base, the core of who we are. And if we focus on just living in the core then life is easy, like walking on the hard packed sand right at the waters edge. The further we remove ourselves from the tough choices, the things that help us let go of the loose sand, the more loose sand we hang on to and the harder the walk - just like the dry sand at the beach. I'll take the waves!

Lessons from cribbage - facing fear

My husband and I played cribbage last night and he introduced a very small twist into the game. After you deal 6 cards to each player, the deck is cut and the top card turned up. Well, he decided we shouldn't flip that top card over until after we play out the hand and are ready to count our points. No big deal, just a small tweak that doesn't even change play of the game. It shocked me just how much this little thing bothered me. That card nagged at my mind while I was playing my hand and really affected my focus. My husband said he had the same problem when his brother introduced the idea to him last weekend.

Why is this so difficult? Because we are creatures of comfort. We create habits, routines and preferences that make us comfortable. Any little change can really throw us for a loop, and it is our natural impulse to put things "back to normal" as quickly as possible.

Try this. Sit down and fold your hands together in your lap. Which thumb is on top? Now switch. Fold your hands so the opposite thumb is on top. How does that feel? What does it make you want to do? For most people this is really uncomfortable and until you switch back, you can't think of anything else.

Is there any reason for this? Is is safer or better to have a particular thumb on top? Not really. It's just a comfortable habit we created and changing it takes thought and effort.

This is how it is with any change we create in our lives. We have to put thought and effort into it, and it very likely makes us step outside our comfort zone. The bigger the change, the more uncomfortable it is. And if it is large enough, we step over discomfort and into fear.

So how can we move through the fear and create a change we want? One helpful thing is to focus on a positive result you'll get from creating the change. Will you be able to send your kids to college? Will you get to retire early? Will you get to spend more time with someone you love? Whatever the "bonus" is to you - keep your eye on that. Oftentimes when we are thinking about the great rewards we will reap, the fear we are facing starts to look small.

Another way of getting through discomfort and fear is by practicing. We gain confidence when we meet challenges, face fear, and make it through to the other side. I take small opportunities to face fears and "just do it" - even when there is no great benefit. It just shows me I can, builds my confidence, and actually creates the habit of "getting it over with".

My first business helped me overcome the fear of making difficult phone calls. In this business I had to make some really uncomfortable calls. I was having a very hard time even picking up the phone so I made a little tweak. I changed my advertising methods so that the calls came in to me. I found that answering the phone when it rang was easier than picking it up to call someone. After a week or so of fielding phone calls, I started making calls too. I was still scared, it was still hard, but I did it - and I rewarded myself for making the calls (a little chocolate goes a long way!).

What is really interesting to me is that, even today, if I have a scary phone call to make my gut reaction is to pick up the phone and dial. I just want to get through the pain that the fear causes. By making phone calls I discovered that the call is never as bad as the fear. It was the experience that created a habit and built confidence so I could face a similar situation with greater success.

So take the small opportunities for facing fear and build up your confidence. Start with your thumbs and a deck of cards and see how far you can go!

Give-away

I wanted to make sure all of you know that ReclaimU is hosting a "Thank-fest". In gratitude for all the people following along with ReclaimU, we are giving away 5 Phoenix Center memberships. All you have to do to enter the drawing is tell us something you are grateful for at http://www.reclaimU.com/thankfest.html

A lesson in choosing to plan

Before I went to sleep on Monday, I decided what I would do on Tuesday. It's a fairly regular habit of mine and it serves me quite well. This particular Tuesday it was interesting to see what happened.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I had a great idea for a give-away at ReclaimU. I was really excited about it and wanted to implement it immediately. What I forgot to do was to sit down with my to do list and adjust it. So now, in my mind, I had everything on my original to do list PLUS everything I needed to do to create the give-away.

Fortunately for me I had only planned on working a half day so I was able to finish the give-away and part of the other to do list. Unfortunately for me, I missed an amazingly beautiful day. It was 72 degrees and sunny, and likely the last day I'll see like that in Michigan until next May.

Because I didn't stop and take 10 minutes to choose what I would do that day I missed out on a beautiful day. And that actually wouldn't bother me if I had made the decision to work, but I didn't. I just let one thing after another pull on me and it left me a little frustrated - and a little smarter. I guess we all need periodic reminders to make choices about our lives because if we don't we may not be happy with the outcome.

Can you guess what I'm doing as soon as I finish this blog? Yup - creating my to do list for today (and keeping it light - I think I got lucky and have another nice day:)

If you'd like to check out the give-away at ReclaimU just click here.

Lessons from the beach - the scenery

I was walking the shoreline with my family and dog last evening. I've never walked the beach at sunset before. Oh, I've seen sunsets over the water. I've watched them from the pier, or from the city beach, but I've never gone out to walk and watch this. I've really never seen anything like it before. As I looked up the beach toward the light house, the moon was shining bright just above the lighthouse, and there was a planet making an amazingly bright spot in the sky just above the moon. All the colors of the rainbow were painted across the sky, stretching from the lighthouse out to the slightly foggy horizon. Incredible!

It was a magical moment in my life. Not magical in the sense that something amazing happened, or there was a specific moment to remember forever. It was magical in that it brought awe back to me. I guess I had really gotten caught up in the "to do" of my life. Things have been busy with moving, a new homeschool group, and ReclaimU shifting into the next gear. I knew I had taken a step back from some of my usual rituals and routines, but I hadn't realized that my focus had changed.

As we walk the path called life, we are always looking toward something. It's just like walking a trail through the woods, or a sidewalk on the street. You are looking at something, the question is where you decide to put your attention. Are you looking straight ahead, focusing on the furthest point and getting there as quickly as possible? Are you looking down at your feet, making sure you don't stumble? Or perhaps you are looking around you at people or trees, taking in the "scenery" and appreciating the beauty in it. These are all possibilities and normally I do a bit of each, spending the most time looking at nature all around me. Regularly I'll look ahead to make sure I'm still heading in the direction I want to go, and periodically I glance down to make sure I don't trip over a big root or bump.

My time at the beach that evening showed me I had gotten caught up in charging straight ahead and looking down for things that could trip me up; I had forgotten to look around and truly enjoy the beauty surrounding me.