A hamster, a dog & because I said so

A new meaning behind the old saying from our parents. Instead of "because I said so" it becomes "because I feel it in my gut". The first time my daughter's friend wanted to bring her hamster over to visit our guinea pig my gut said no. However, since my brain couldn't come up with any 'really good reason' to say no I just let it happen.

A few visits and several weeks later the hamster escapes in our house. Now I'm not a panicky person, and my parents let us handle all kinds of little critter when I was a kid, so it's not the idea of the hamster on the loose that bothers me. What bothers me is our 70 lb dog and the vision of me telling this little girl that our dog killed her hamster. Uuuggghhh. To top it off, the friend is going out of town tomorrow.

So everyone in our house this morning was solicited to be part of the search party. Of course no one found the hamster (Have you ever searched for a 2" long fuzz ball that likes to curl up in small, dark places and sleeps during the day?) I finally declared that I had to work and left my husband with all these girls who had given up searching but were still very worried.

I also know my kids and I know that my girls will grow increasingly distressed the longer that the hamster is missing. There are carrots and hamster food all over my kitchen floor cuz the girls want the hamster to come out in the open. There are plans to put the hamster cage in the middle of the kitchen too in the hope that the hamster will want to go home. My girls are planning an all night vigil to capture the hamster when it goes into the cage to eat or sleep or whatever (2 girls who don't sleep all night? Alarm clocks going off all night to make sure they stay awake? Sleep deprivation will lead to a lovely weekend.)

I got a call later in the day letting me know the hamster was found. And yes, we learned something and all that jazz. But the bottom line is that my gut told me "no" and I didn't follow it because I thought I had to have logical reasons. Maybe, just maybe, our parents knew something when they said, "because I said so".

A To-Do List Can Set You Free!

Yes, I'm serious. The dreaded to-do list can actually be the thing that brings you good feelings, peace and freedom. I've been working without a net (no to-do list) the last few weeks, letting myself 'wing it' to make sure I wasn't stifling creativity and to make sure I stayed focused on completing a particular project. So in my mind the only thing on my to do list was the next step in the project.

Seems simple. Seems like it should be really stress free. And there's no dreaded to-do list hanging over my head.

But that's not the way it worked out. Instead I never felt like I had finished my work for the day. I also knew there were other things to do and I was just carrying them around in my head. So now I ended up feeling stressed, unable to write, and rarely feeling good about what I accomplished in my day.

So yesterday I wrote out a to-do list for today - and I already feel great! My creativity came back so I was able to write, I feel great because it's not even 9am and I've checked a few things off the list. I will also know when I'm done for the day and I can feel good about knowing I "did enough".

Bottom line: Having a reasonable to-do list will help you finish off your day and let you know you did the most important things.

Too hot? Too cold?

I enjoy spending time wandering downtown, walking the beach or hanging out at the dog park. Inevitably I will end up chatting with someone for a bit, and it amazes me how many people complain about the Michigan weather. In winter it’s all about how cold it is or “can you believe all this snow”. In summer it’s too hot and humid. What really gets me is the people who complain about both.

So let’s take a closer look at this. These people are unhappy because of the weather. Really, can you change the weather? No. Okay, so what are your choices (remember, you always have a choice)?

* Complain and be miserable
* Enjoy each day for what it is
* Set yourself up to be comfortable in spite of the weather

My daughter hit the nail on the head a few weeks ago. We got in the truck to go somewhere and it was hot from sitting in the sun. She started to complain then looked at me and said, “And in a few months we’ll be complaining because we’re cold. Maybe I should enjoy the heat now.” Bingo! That’s it! Enjoy the experience you are in right now.

A Change in Perspective

I posted this quote on Twitter a couple days ago and it caught on like wild fire. "Your happiness is based entirely on your perspective" ~ Sandy Fowler

Then, as I was walking on the beach with my dog yesterday I noticed I was just racing along, watching the dog to see if this was wearing him out. After all, this trip was all about getting him out of the house and tiring him out. (He's part border collie and was home alone with me all day which adds up to a bored dog with tons of energy.) I had made a point of wrapping up my work and getting him down to the beach to run off some of that excess energy.

Then I stopped. I looked at the beautiful blue water . . . listened to the crashing waves . . . felt the wind . . . and enjoyed the experience. Suddenly everything was different. I'd flipped a switch and was no longer just hurrying through another item on my to-do list, I was enjoying an experience.

That's it - that's all it took to create happiness - a change in perspective.

Doing what you're told

"There are two types of people who never achive very much in their lifetimes. One is the person who won't do what he or she is told to do, and the other is the person who does no more than he or she is told to do." ~ Andrew Carnegie

I saw this quote as I was reading "The Fred Factor" and I started thinking about it in slightly different terms than Mr. Carnegie might have meant it. I was thinking about "success" and "happiness" and all the things we are told help us along that route.

We are told that excercise gives us energy and makes us feel good.
We are told that meditation releases tension and brings creativity.
We are told that eating a healthy diet full of fruits, vegetables and whole grains will leave us energized and healthy.
We are told that setting our priorities and sticking to them lets us do the things we enjoy.
We are told to carefully choose our business coach then do what they tell us.
We are told to complete our business projects and then market them.
We are told . . .

There are lots of things we are told in our lives. Now I don't believe everything I hear, but when I've done any of the things listed above I've gotten great benefit, felt better, done more, made more money or been happier. So why don't we do them? And if we do "the excercise" why do we just do the minimum we are told to do?

This morning I went running. In fact it's the second day in a row that I went running - and I feel energized.

I had a nice healthy whole grain cereal for breakfast - and I feel good.

Now I'm working on completing a business project and starting the marketing - and I am excited.

There are some basic concepts and core ideas that help us live the life we want. We've all seen them but are you doing them? It just might be time to do what you're told.

WAHM & Dads - Itching to play hookey?

Summer is here. The kids are out of school and activities have begun - and my husband's car decided to take a vacation of its own. What craziness! I really think summer is the hardest time of year to work from home. There is no schedule to the family's day, the activities are all over the map, and I just want to go play!

One of my simple solutions to all this mess is . . . leave! I leave the house to work and spend time at the local Panera Bread, library or coffee shop. Actually, this solution works pretty well as far as removing me from their chaos. But it doesn't solve the "Summer Syndrome".

You know about the Summer Syndrome, the sun is shining, the beach is calling you and you can't make your mind stay on your work no matter how hard you try. In fact, it feels a lot like the final days of school when you were a kid.

I've found a few things that help, try them out and see if they work for you (and let me know what you do to stay on track and excited about work in the summer):

1. Reduce expectations. I actually reduce my workload for summer and give myself extra time off to go play and just be with my family.

2. Use a to do list. Each day I have a short list of the vital things that absolutely must get done - and I do those first.

3. Create solitude. I do work out of my house more in the summer. (Get a sitter if you must, trade kid care or coordinate with spouse) I also create blocks of time to have the house to myself (coordinate activities or play dates, let kids visit family).

4. Start a fun project in your work. I like to have a project I'm really excited about to work on in the summer. Having something fun to do gets me interested in starting the work and, once I start, I get absorbed.

5. Buddy up. Get an accountability buddy. Have someone you respect who you can tell your goals and do a check in. It's lot harder to blow off work if you have to face someone and say, "Hey I chose not to do this".

6. Get up early and dive right in. I like to get up early and do work when the house is quiet. This also gives me a leg up and keeps me motivated. When I can stop for breakfast with my family and already have 3 good hours of work done it makes a huge difference in my mindset. (This is where I break the important stuff first rule. I usually do my "thinking" stuff in the wee hourse and leave the more mundane stuff for after everyone wakes up.)

Summer is great and wonderful, and we only get 18 with each kid. Do a little planning and pull out your store of self-discipline. But more importantly, just know that less will get done in work because more will get done for your kids and let yourself enjoy that time. Happy summer!

Why do you want to know?

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

Usually one of 2 things happens:

#1 They were being nosy or judgmental and this tack requires them to back off. It also helps keep you from being on the defensive and makes it easier to gracefully not answer questions you prefer not to answer, or to give a brief non-committal answer.

#2 More often than not (and more interesting) it makes us focus on someone else and find out what they REALLY want to know. So often when someone asks a question we jump to conclusions and make assumptions about what they want to know and why they're asking. We get uncomfortable and become defensive when in reality they are looking for some help themselves in the way of ideas, information or support. By asking for clarity on what they want to know you will likely be pleasantly surprised - then find that you can really help them.

Techno-twirl

Whew! Just got off a technology twirl and I'm dizzy. Here I am, starting my daily work, when I look up at my computer screen and wonder, "What am I doing and how did I get here?"

Does this ever happen to you? I started my browser to check on a flight and the next thing I know I'm looking at a cool website for creating graphics and website buttons, and there are four applications open and running on my task bar. Huh? Where's the airline? Where's the departure date? Wasn't I planning a flight?

It's a common theme in this world of Twitter and email. You open an email which has a newsletter with a great link for a website that sends you on to a cool tech page with a great app that you just have to tweet. Then you see a great quote that you just have to add to your file and email to a friend and another email catches your eye with a great event so you check your calendar and see that you are supposed to leave for an appointment in 15 minutes! Where did the morning go and why didn't I get anything done?

Actually there are times that I really enjoy my techno-twirl and as I pop from website to website I find really cool stuff (that I remember to bookmark cuz I'll never find it again:). But I've learned to choose the times I let myself go do that. I give myself a set amount of time and just let things flow.

The rest of the time I tell myself what I'm doing and I stick with it (usually) and just to keep things moving in my day, when I'm going into anything that can suck me into the information vortex, I set a time limit, and sometimes a timer. When I start up Twitter, email, etc, I generally have a goal AND a time limit to keep me on track.

Does it work? Most of the time. It certainly saves me countless hours and increases my productivity. But, like I said, there is value in the twirl and I let that happen too.

2 were incredible and 1 was a dud

When I talk to people who are unhappy with their life one common denominator is that they aren't living with passion. I'm not talking about finding "your life's passion" or "living your dreams", I just mean living each moment and doing each thing with feeling. Going along on autopilot, or trying to walk that line down the middle of the road so you don't upset anyone is not a way to really enjoy your life.

Let's face it, not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to agree with you. And if you don't stand up and do things with energy and passion you won't like you either.

I'm sitting in a local coffee shop and listening to one of the owners, Mike, talk about the singer on the radio. Mike has seen him in concert 3 times and is talking about how amazing the show was. He went on about the dancers and the stage set up, then he said something that really caught my attention, "One was a stinker but the other 2 were incredible!" and his whole face was lit up.

Wait a minute - one of the concerts was a bomb, a total dud - but the other 2 were so intense and incredible that they blew the dud away. The singer was doing what he did with total passion and the greatness of that overshadowed any problems that could come up.

Whether you're running a business, raising kids or just living your life, do it with passion! The greatness will overshadow the problems by 100 to 1.