Why do you want to know?

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

Usually one of 2 things happens:

#1 They were being nosy or judgmental and this tack requires them to back off. It also helps keep you from being on the defensive and makes it easier to gracefully not answer questions you prefer not to answer, or to give a brief non-committal answer.

#2 More often than not (and more interesting) it makes us focus on someone else and find out what they REALLY want to know. So often when someone asks a question we jump to conclusions and make assumptions about what they want to know and why they're asking. We get uncomfortable and become defensive when in reality they are looking for some help themselves in the way of ideas, information or support. By asking for clarity on what they want to know you will likely be pleasantly surprised - then find that you can really help them.