Stayin out of the valleys

Friday I was writing about my husband's roller coaster of running. Well, I've had the same experience with my thoughts. Over the last several years I've really focused on my thoughts and on keeping them in a positive and forward looking place. But, quite honestly, there are times when you just want to have a good rant or wallow in the garbage because it feels hard to change over to the positive.

But the same is true of the valleys here; the deeper I travel down into the valley, the harder it is to climb out. But I also know what it's like to be at the top and I know I absolutely will climb out. So over the years I have learned that, while it may be easier to wallow around in the moment, I choose to stop myself as soon as I notice the negative direction of thoughts and turn it around.

The bottoms of those valleys are usually places where we don't feel so great. The deeper the valley the worse we feel and the harder it is to climb back up.

The more I do this the sooner I notice. The sooner I notice, the shallower the valleys. The shallower the valleys the easier it is. And the more time I spend up high on the hill tops the happier I am.

The roller coaster

Have you ever felt like your life was looking like a roller coaster? Recently my husband commented on this in terms of his running. He realized that he goes in cycles. For a while he runs, and runs, and runs. Generally this means he has a goal or has picked a race he wants to run and he diligently trains for it. When he's training he naturally eats better, sleeps better and just has better habits over all. This can go on for weeks, months or a couple years.

But periodically something happens to derail the running. It isn't necessarily anything monumental; it can be as simple as a disruption to his routine. And suddenly he's heading down on the roller coaster.

What was interesting is that he was noticing this, and had been seeing it happen for a while now. He also mentioned that the peaks were getting shorter and the valleys weren't quite so deep. He said that he noticed he didn't feel as good when he didn't run. And he noticed something else; he saw that the sooner he picked up running again after a break, the easier it was to get back to feeling good.

We all experience the roller coaster rides in our life. We go after a goal, create a resolution or discover something new and we're right on top of it. After a while it wanes and we take the downhill ride. However, if this was something that added value to our world then, at some time, we'll realize we miss the good part of it and we'll start working at it again, heading back up.

The cycle is normal, but what I know is that the sooner we realize we're on the downhill and take action to turn things around the easier it is. So pay attention to how you feel and, when you notice something isn't as good, look around to find out what downhill you're riding. Then you can turn things around to go back up. Now you can enjoy the view, and the feelings, at the top.

Scooting, learning & scary stuff

I was out riding scooters with my daughter and when one leg got tired I switched to the other leg. I was flabbergasted! This simple thing, switching from one leg to another, changed everything. It wasn't a huge, monumental difference I suppose, but it sure felt that way for a few minutes. And it stayed uncomfortable the entire time I was on the other leg.

Pushing was harder, braking was harder and, someone please explain this one 'cuz I don't get it, but steering was harder. All this from standing on one leg vs the other.

What I noticed myself doing then was deciding if I wanted to work at this or not. I chose to work. I figured I would be building some other muscles, improving some coordination and even practicing doing something that's uncomfortable. I guess you could say I was even building a new skill set.

It's a reminder to me that discomfort helps us grow and can be good for us. I think I'll try to remember that the next time I have to talk to my husband about something touchy, make a new sales call or even just put my ideas out to the world. The discomfort, or even fear, is something I can walk through and it will leave me stronger.

Inspired Living

I had a very interesting morning. It's one of those days which reminds you that listening is the most important skill you have. In this case, listening means being quiet and hearing yourself, that small inner voice that will guide you if you let it.

I woke up early and, although I had planned to get ready and go to our local Panera to work, I ended up sitting in the middle of a slightly overgrown lawn in front of a local church. So of course the question is, "Why?"

The answer is - because that's what I needed. When I was packing up my computer and all my stuff this morning I was feeling off. So I slowed down a bit and let a few different thoughts run through my mind. While these thoughts were passing through I was very quiet and payed attention to how I felt as each one waltzed on by. When one felt good I went with it, like following a fork in the road. I kept doing this until I realized that what I needed wasn't to plop down behind my computer and get to work.

The thoughts that felt good were all about being outside for a while; someplace with grass and trees rather than down by Lake Michigan. I remembered that there is a labyrinth by one of the local churches so I headed over there.

When I got there I discovered that the labyrinth was quite overgrown and didn't know if I'd be able to walk it. No sooner did I observe this than I saw an entrance. So I started walking.

I walked about 5 feet, turned and the path went straight to the center. Interesting...not how this usually works but I'm just going with the flow this morning so I thought I'd stay there for a while and see what happens.

And I'm so glad I did.

I guess I was probably only there for 10 minutes, but it changed my entire day. I felt completely at peace, let go of some things and felt drawn to various tasks for the day.

Now I'm at Panera, feeling much better than I did this morning and just sailing through the tasks I felt drawn to.

This is what I think of as inspired living. It isn't always excitement and fireworks. It isn't always about making a huge difference. It isn't always about a project or a plan. Inspired living is living your life, each moment of each day, from a place of inspiration. It's listening to that inner voice that is here to guide you, and following through on what you know is right for you in that moment. And when I live this way it lets me enjoy my life more and be happier in the little daily things. It also opens doors and makes room the projects, the excitement and the creation of amazing things.

Let the wild flowers grow

I'm looking at our front lawn and it fascinates me. The weeds and anything I "don't want to grow there are lush and green. All the "grass" is looking a bit tired from lack of rain. So this begs the question, "Why do we insist on nursing the difficult to grow grass and keep trying to kill off the stuff that wants to grow easily?"

And our lawns aren't the only place we do this. I do this in my life, in my relationships and in my business from time to time. Instead of finding something that I enjoy, that is building on my strengths, I try to force the thing I "should be doing".

But what if I just mow the weeds? Or better yet, let the wild flowers grow. Could it be beautiful?

My Mile

I just got back from a run. It feels really weird to say that because I only ran a mile. Now I'm sure there are people out there who don't run at all who go, "You're nuts." But in my brain I hear - You only ran a mile. Hmmm...that's not a very empowering thought. And the embarrassing truth is that a month ago I couldn't run the length of a few houses [that's actually what got me motivated to run - along with a dog that reeaaallllyyy needs the exercise]. And, since I'm being perfectly honest, I don't think I even want to run farther than a mile. I have no inclination to run in races. I don't want to improve my times. I don't want to see how far I can go or push myself. I just want to run my mile with my dog and feel good about it. In fact, I'm shocked that I want to run at all.

So I'm still wondering about this 'only a mile' thing in my head. And then I see it clearly. For those of you who don't know, I'm married to a running coach. He likes to coach beginning and intermediate runners, and personally, he likes to run ultra trail marathons. An ultra marathon is anything longer than a marathon which is 26 miles. Tom, my husband, enjoys 50 mile trail runs, and is thinking about training for a 100 mile race [before you ask me, no, I don't know why. I don't understand it and I probably never will, so don't ask me why he does it. And just for the record, he is nothing but supportive of 'my mile']

But what I see now is that I am judging my mile based on his love of running 50. Since 1 mile isn't even a warm-up for him I'm not valuing my own accomplishment, or even just letting myself enjoy the run.

That's just like measuring the success of my business against Starbucks. It doesn't make any sense. My business is nothing like theirs, nor do I even want it to be. I don't want to run a retail establishment - I like to work from home or speak to groups.

It's also one of the things I warm 'my moms' about in Calendar Magic - don't measure yourself against some idea of a supermom that you have in your head, or that you think you see in your neighbor. Your life is different, your family is different, your business is different and you want different things for your life. Focus on what YOU want and only measure yourself against your own yardstick.

So I guess it's time for the 'expert' to take her own advice. I am officially celebrating the fact that I ran a mile - and I'm excited about it!!

Is it polite or limiting?

I was at the orthodontist's office and watched something fascinating. There was a mom waiting with 4 young children. The kids were handling it well, but were running into some frustration ~ like needing a pen to work on a puzzle. When the receptionist offered a pen to one of the boys she realized it was purple and thought he might like green better so she offered him a choice. The boy said he'd like the green one but he thought one of his sisters might like the purple. When the sister went to the counter she politely asked if they had any other colors. Here's where it gets interesting . . .
Mom reprimands her for asking this. Hmmm ... I can see Mom's point of wanting to instill good manners,being grateful for the things people offer us, and saying thank you. After all, that is what we're taught.

But what if there's more? And if we don't ask then how do we know?

I saw a curious girl who knows what she likes, believes there is more to world than what is right in front of her and isn't afraid to ask for it. She was curious and polite and I encourage her, and you, to always look at all the possibilities.

A little push over the line

I just got back from having lunch with my husband (one of the perks of working from home:) But today's lunch was different. What made this lunch special was that it was a conscious choice on our part to spend some time together and focus on us. We'd had a significant difference of opinion on some family matters a couple days ago. We both felt very strongly about handling the situation in extremely different ways; this did not exactly bring us closer or make us feel all warm and fuzzy about our relationship - and that's okay. We sorted through things, laid out options and finally found one we can both deal with.

What I really wanted to share with you is what happened after the fact. This morning we realized that we were both standing on a line. One side of the line has all the negative thoughts and the memories of everything our spouse has ever done that annoyed us. The other side of the line has all the positive thoughts and all the memories of all the things that we love and appreciate in our spouse. After a couple days of negotiating and dealing with a lot of frustration we were both standing there on the line. So we chose to spend some time alone together today, just enjoying each other. Nothing huge, just a little push to help move us over to the positive side of the line.

I know it's a small choice, but it's those small choices that define our relationships and our life. What are you choosing?

The cactus and the caterpillar

My daughter sent me an email titled The Cactus and the Caterpillar. It's the story of how a man asked for a beautiful flower and a butterfly, and instead was given a thorny cactus and an ugly caterpillar. Feeling disappointed he went on his way and kept living his life. Then, one day, he was passing the place where he had received these disappointing things. And, as I'm sure you can guess, on the thorny cactus was an incredibly beautiful flower, and the ugly caterpillar had turned into a gorgeous butterfly.

It's an amazing reminder that things don't always show up in the way we expect, nor do they always happen in the time frame we expect them. And in my life, lately, I've been frustrated by exactly that. It was a beautiful reminder that the way I view the gifts in my life is my choice; I can see a thorny cactus or I can see a miracle of nature, an amazing, hearty plant that can outlive me, that needs almost no water, and produces beautiful flowers. And it's a reminder to be patient.

I am grateful for these reminders, and today I choose to enjoy where I am right now.