Where are the shamans?

I am reading The Horse Boy and the author and his family have just arrived in Mongolia to take a spiritual & healing trek. Upon arrival they are escorted to their hotel room in a city and this is the author's observation:

"I don't know quite how I had pictured our arrival in Mongolia. Straight off the plane and onto the steppe I guess, with caparisoned horses waiting for us just beyond the baggage claim, smiling nomads cheering us, shamans dancing and drumming, eagles circling in the sky, the horses, cattle, sheep, goats, and yaks doing some kind of Broadway number in the background and the wolves and bears of the mountain accompanying on sax and trombone. Something along those lines.
Certainly not sitting in a second-rate hotel room (though I could tell that this was upper-end, with its plush red nylon pile carpet)..."

As I read these lines it hit me - that's what happens when we start to live our dreams. We find the discord between our dreams and the now. We have to step into the space that leads us toward our dreams and be willing to do what it takes to finally reach our goals.

Often times the journey doesn't look like it did in our dream. We encounter people and obstacles we didn't foresee. We have to take step we didn't plan. But if we continue forward we discover so much. We have new experiences and learn new skills. And we live a journey we never could have imagined. And this journey is what gives us the ability to reach our goals and live our dreams. This journey makes us into the people we need to be in order to live the life we imagine.

Let a dog find your solution

"Next to me in the cab of the pickup sat Benj Sinclair, at his feet a midden of road-food wrappers smeared with the scent of corn dogs, onion rings, and burritos. ...Behind him in the jump seat was Kim Reynolds, an Outward Bound instructor from Colorado known for her grace in a kayak and her long braid of brunette hair, which held the faint odor of a healthy, thirty-two-year-old woman who had sweated in the desert and hadn't used deodorant. Like Benj and me, she had eaten a dinner of pizza in Moab, Utah, a hundred miles up the road where we'd met her. Like us, she gave off the scents of garlic, onions, tomato sauce, basil, oregano and anchovies."

When I first read this introduction to some of the people in "Merle's Door - Lessons from a Freethinking Dog" it struck me as a bit odd. Actually, it only seems odd to me because I'm not a dog. The author was introducing us to the people who were with him, but he was adding in the most important information in a dog's world - our scents.

As human beings we process our world primarily through vision, tailoring everything to what we see, so experiencing a meeting from the dog's perspective of smell is a unique experience. But isn't it fascinating to "see" things from another point of view? It brings different items to our attention. It causes us to ask different questions And if I'm experiencing a problem, seeing it from a different perspective gives me access to new solutions.

Sometimes we get stuck or feel lost. But what if the answer is to experience another view point?

Can't understand why your spouse does that?

Don't know why your customers go to the competition?

Wondering how you can break into a new career?

Be the dog - check out another view point. Ask questions, seek out opinions, get down on your knees, use your nose, stand on a chair, use your ears, do anything you can to get another point of view.

P.S. for dog lovers: "Merle's Door" is a great book that challenges your thinking and tugs at your heart.

It's the thought that counts - I disagree

We've all heard the old addage 'It's the thought that counts'. And I believe we often land in a place where that just isn't true.

If I think about holding the door open for you as you run up behind me but I let it slam in front of you instead, the thought did not count.

If I think about sending you a condolence card, calling, or dropping off a hot dish when a loved one dies but I do nothing, the thought does not count.

If I think about giving you a birthday present, or taking you out to celebrate, but do nothing, the thought does not count.

If I think about taking time to pray, meditate or walk in nature but don't do it, the thought does not count.

And if I think about living my life differently, learning something new, or following a dream, but do nothing, the thought does not count.

It takes thought AND action to make a difference. We have to make the time and do the things we think about in order for them to impact our lives and the lives of others.

What works

I did it again. I'm going along, living my life, and things are going well. I'm feeling good, happy and content. Then, I start seeing some issues. Soon I feel "off". Shortly thereafter I find myself standing there, arms flung wide, crying out for direction.

What happened? Where did all my joy go?

After a few days of wondering, I decided to spend some focused time and energy doing the things that I know "work" for me. For me that means taking down time and outdoor time, making time for meditation, regaling myself with stories of all the great things that are happening and counting my blessings.

After doing this for just one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. What "went wrong" is that I stopped doing what works. Those things aren't just practices to use in the tough times or when I feel down, they are the foundation for the good times. They are the basis for growth, happiness and success.

As Americans we have a tendency to get busy and to take the good stuff for granted. Sure, when the going gets tough we pull out all the stops and "do what we have to do".

But what do you do when the going is easy and things are good? Those are the habits you need to keep things going well and to give you strength, direction and focus when they aren't.

Is it true?

There are things we all know. There are rules and laws and just 'the way things are'. We certainly know that what goes up must come down. We certainly know that water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Well, apparently even that isn't necessarily true. As it turns out, if water is in a perfectly smooth bottle and doesn't come in contact with any dust it can stay liquid all the way down to -40 degrees Fahrenheit. (I saw this in an article on msnbc.)

It just reminds us that all those things we know to be true may, in fact, not be true at all, or may not be true under certain circumstances.

So the next time you tell yourself that something can't be done, or that something must be done a certain way, it might be worth rethinking the situation. There are all kinds of people in the world who have done amazing and incredible things, things that we thought "couldn't be done". So why not you? Why can't you do something different? Why can't you go against the norm? Why can't you follow your gut and do what you know is right for you?

Lessons from the beach - Walking Blind

Walking on the beach with my dog yesterday was an interesting experience. Over the winter the ice and snow has grown into hills and mountains, melted, refrozen and created many interesting and fascinating landscapes.

Yesterday, however, we had a couple inches of light fluffy snow that coated the entire landscape. It was just beautiful, and very interesting to walk on.

All that pretty snow was too light to pack but it covered over thousands of tiny hills, bumps and holes that we could fall into as we walked. I discovered this danger very quickly but I really wanted to spend some time outdoors in this beautiful setting, so on we went.

My dog ran ahead of me and, after a while I started to notice some things. We were walking much slower than we normally do at the beach. Our 'blindness' and 'ignorance' of the landscape made us cautious so we slowed down. Then I noticed that when we were backtracked to head back to the truck we had a different pattern. We tended to follow the path we had made on our way out, with the exception of areas where we could see deep prints - a sure sign that you were going to step down into a rut or hole.

Just as when we choose change in our life, we had to traverse a new and unknown landscape. And, once we'd been down a particular path before, it got easier. We knew where to go most of the time, as well as what areas to avoid. We gained confidence and speed.

I had a wonderful time and I'm glad I chose to face the unknown and blaze a path.

Frightened, clueless or uninformed

I just read this post by Seth Godin, "Frightened, clueless or uninformed" and, as always, he hits the nail on the head. We've all been in each of these places at some point in our lives. As I look back at my life and the experiences of those close to me I notice a few things.

When we are frightened we tend to get stuck. We go into the fight or flight mode which leads us to avoidance (flight) or kneejerk reactions (fight). We just aren't in a state of mind to make good, solid decisions or to follow them up with effective action.

And the main reason we are frightened is that we are clueless. We just don't have any idea what to do so we start to panic.

But what if we focus on going up the ladder. When we find ourselves in a place where we are frightened all we need to focus on is alleviating the fear, not solving the entire problem, just lessening the fear.

Once we've calmed down and can engage the rational part of our brain we likely will realize we are clueless. So what can we do here? Again, don't focus on solving the problem. Focus on finding possibilities. Talk, read or watch; talk to people, read books, blogs and articles, watch vidoes just to see what's out there. Discover things you never knew about. Grill the expert.

This has moved you up the ladder to uniformed. But now that you have all these possibilities you can become informed. Choose an option or two from your possibilities and get informed - find out what you need to do to follow that path.

Once we move past this point we become informed and that means we can make a good decision and follow up with effective action - the key to getting anything you want.

Altruistic or selfish? Do it anyway

Saw this post by @earthXplorer in Twitter ~ "No act of kindness is ever wasted." Aesop /via @Timberwolf123

It reminded me of an article I read where the writer was recounting acts of kindness and how they spread. The writer also shared some interesting facts including research on the effects of kindness. When someone experiences an act of kindness their body has a physical reaction. Their immune system starts pumping out good stuff, their brain starts pumping out good stuff, and basically things just get better.

While that's really great, there's more. Interestingly enough, it isn't just the recipient of the act of kindness who gets these great benefits. The person extending the kindness has a similar reaction, as does anyone seeing it.

Wow! Just think how much better you can make the world with a simple act of kindness. Just nice things like holding the door open for the person coming up behind you. Paying the toll for the next car in line. Thanking a customer service representative and wishing them a nice day. Anything that is nice works.

And the amazing thing about this is that you can go about it with an altruistic heart. You can be totally focused on other people. You can just be thinking about how to help others. And you'll still get to reap the benefits every time you do something nice for someone else. So if you want to be happier start looking for ways to make others happier.

A bear of very little brain shares out loud

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.
--W. T. Pooh (aka A. A. Milne)

I do love Pooh's wisdom. So often, when we have a hurdle, a problem or a concern just rattling around inside our head, it seems unsolvable and it grows each day. Saying it out loud tends to start the shrinking process immediately, and often brings about a great insight at the same time. And, for those times when we still don't see the path to take, others often will.

Why I Advocate Giving Up

I was reading Chris Guillebeau's blog today and was glancing at the titles of the books and blog posts in the right hand column. I saw one titled ‘Feel like giving up?’ Well, I absolutely had to click on it. And when I did I burst into tears. As I sat there, with my head in my hands and tears streaming down my face, I noticed thoughts running through my mind. Then I heard myself responding to these thoughts. It went something like this:

I’m just so tired.
No your not. Do you honestly feel tired?
No, I don’t. But then what’s wrong?
I don’t know. What do you feel now.
I feel like giving up.
What do you feel like giving up?
I feel like giving up on everything….
No you don’t. What do you feel like giving up on?
I’m tired of worrying about ___________!
Then give it up. Stop worrying about it. You have a plan in place. You’re taking action and moving forward. So give up the worrying and go back to enjoying each day even if that one little piece of your life isn’t exactly as you’d like it right this minute.

So yes, there is a time and a place to give up on things, and right here and now is the time to give up worrying about anything. Worry is counterproductive and doesn’t change anything except how we feel. I’m giving up today and I invite you to join me.

Perspective

I’m reading Learning Joy from Dogs Without Collars by Lauralee Summer. As she is sharing her experience at Harvard, she introduces us to one of her roommates, Maggie. She describes Maggie as 5’10” tall and 165 lbs of muscle, and as someone who always wished she were small. Maggie sees the impracticality and inconvenience of her size where Lauralee sees something entirely different.

Lauralee talks about how when she and Maggie are in their tiny bedroom it seems that entire room has to shift imperceptibly to accommodate Maggie’s every gesture. Whether she is scooting her chair back from the desk or just stretching her arms, her every gesture has impact. And that’s what Lauralee sees and would love to have herself.

Most of us mirror this in our own lives. We see the difficulties, inconveniences and things we just don’t like as annoying hindrances. But as we create a new mindset we start to see these things as gifts, benefits and opportunities. If you can’t do it yourself right now, just ask someone else. Just as Lauralee could see the great impact Maggie can have, so your friends will have a different perspective on you.