Are you feeling stressed? Then I urge you to take a look at how you’re spending your time. The way we use our time can often cause us stress, or magnify a stressful situation.
If you finish each day with a mile long to-do list then either your expectations need some adjusting or your calendar needs some adjusting. You are either expecting to finish more in a day than is possible, or you are spending your time doing things that aren’t the most important things on your “list”.
If you feel pulled in a million directions, do a calendar check. Sometimes we take on too much, or we don’t leave holes in our day to just let life happen. Face it, no one can stick to a minute by minute schedule every day. Life happens and we need to have the time and ability to adjust.
If you just aren’t happy, do a priority check. Check to see if the things you are doing, and spending the most time on, are really a fit with your priorities. Sometimes we get caught up in all of the obligations we’ve taken on over time and don’t leave time for the things that are most important to us. (For more on this, listen to Sandy’s interview on ReclaimU Radio. It is posted on her website at www.ChooseMyLifeNow.com/speaking.html)
Take a few minutes to listen to your stress. Stress is in our life to be a warning signal. It shows us when we are acting in a way that is out of alignment with who we are and what we want. So when you feel stressed, look for the thing that is out of alignment. Often times you can find it by looking at how you’re spending your time. So listen, adjust and repeat as often as necessary.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Can You Really Manage Stress?
Stress. That horrible feeling we all know and get hit with periodically. Our doctors tell us to manage it with excercise etc. Our culture tells us it's just part of life. What is it really? Bottom line it means something is wrong. There is a misalignment with what is happening in our life and the way we perceive it, or want it to be.
Great, now what? What can we do about it? Good question, and there are a lot of different answers.
1. - We can do what our doctors say and "manage it". Excercise and relaxation techniques can help us manage the physical side of it, and minimize the damage to our bodies.
2. - We can move forward in a positive direction. If we are in a stressful situation (ie. working in a job you hate) take action that moves you toward something new (ie. a new job). Update your resume, take classes, volunteer in an area you think you'd like to work in. When we are taking positive action we feel better AND you can only find a new job if you are looking for one.
3. We can go to the root. Stress is elusive and nebulous. We can feel stressed and quickly point the finger at the thing that is obvious, or feels stressful in that moment. But when we take our time, examine our feelings, our life and our relationships, we often find a different root cause. When we work on the root cause, all of those other little things won't stress us out. When we solve the root cause we can bring a real peace into our life.
These steps may not be easy - but they are worth it. They can help bring you closer to the life you want to live. I encourage you to take your time, find the misalignment that is truly causing the stress and take steps to create a true alignment.
Great, now what? What can we do about it? Good question, and there are a lot of different answers.
1. - We can do what our doctors say and "manage it". Excercise and relaxation techniques can help us manage the physical side of it, and minimize the damage to our bodies.
2. - We can move forward in a positive direction. If we are in a stressful situation (ie. working in a job you hate) take action that moves you toward something new (ie. a new job). Update your resume, take classes, volunteer in an area you think you'd like to work in. When we are taking positive action we feel better AND you can only find a new job if you are looking for one.
3. We can go to the root. Stress is elusive and nebulous. We can feel stressed and quickly point the finger at the thing that is obvious, or feels stressful in that moment. But when we take our time, examine our feelings, our life and our relationships, we often find a different root cause. When we work on the root cause, all of those other little things won't stress us out. When we solve the root cause we can bring a real peace into our life.
These steps may not be easy - but they are worth it. They can help bring you closer to the life you want to live. I encourage you to take your time, find the misalignment that is truly causing the stress and take steps to create a true alignment.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Sweep Your Own Porch
Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I spend a lot of my time helping people make better choices about how to spend their time. What do I see when I do this? I see a lot of different things and one of the most fascinating is how much time people spend worrying about how other people are spending their time.
Think about it for a minute. Did you spend time today thinking about how your spouse spent their time? It could sound something like this, "Why didn't he do the dishes? What on earth has he been up to?" Or it perhaps it sounds like this, "Well, if she would just run the errands all at once on the way home from work then she would be able to get it all done".
Do you try to figure out when and how someone will do something before you ask them? Why use any of your precious time figuring it out? Just ask them. If they are going to do something they will figure out when to do it - regardless of any wonderful plans you may have made for them in that regard.
What do you gain by worrying about how/when/why people do what they do? Is it moving you closer to the life you want to live? Probably not. I highly recommend taking that time and energy and harnessing it to do things that move you closer to your extraordinary life.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I spend a lot of my time helping people make better choices about how to spend their time. What do I see when I do this? I see a lot of different things and one of the most fascinating is how much time people spend worrying about how other people are spending their time.
Think about it for a minute. Did you spend time today thinking about how your spouse spent their time? It could sound something like this, "Why didn't he do the dishes? What on earth has he been up to?" Or it perhaps it sounds like this, "Well, if she would just run the errands all at once on the way home from work then she would be able to get it all done".
Do you try to figure out when and how someone will do something before you ask them? Why use any of your precious time figuring it out? Just ask them. If they are going to do something they will figure out when to do it - regardless of any wonderful plans you may have made for them in that regard.
What do you gain by worrying about how/when/why people do what they do? Is it moving you closer to the life you want to live? Probably not. I highly recommend taking that time and energy and harnessing it to do things that move you closer to your extraordinary life.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Don't Expect a Stranger to Wipe Your Nose
They say we learn best with humor so I guess that means we should learn a lot today because this quote is funny. I was peaking at "Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me" and this quote caught my attention, "Don't expect a stranger to wipe your nose".
That's priceless! And it has a great lesson too. If you can't expect a stranger to help out then who would? And who would you help in a time of need? Who are the people in your life whom you would help out anytime, with any problem? Those people should be front and center in your life.
We all get busy. We have endless to-do lists and jam packed calendars. Do any of the entries on those list the most important people in your life? Have you scheduled lunch with a friend? Golf with a brother?
Scheduling simple activities like having coffee with someone who is important to you will make sure it happens. Even if you have to reschedule (and reschedule and reschedule) putting it on your calendar helps to make sure you see them.
I have an amazing friend who I've known since high school. We usually only manage to see each other a couple times a year - and those only happen when we put a date on the calendar. There have been times when we've changed the day several times, but we did end up getting together. If we didn't schedule it, it would never happen.
These are the people who are important to you, the ones you enjoy spending time with - so go do it. Spend time with them. It will make you happier and lead you one step closer to your extraordinary life. After all, can you really have an extraordinary life without the people you care about most? Pick up the phone and plan some fun.
That's priceless! And it has a great lesson too. If you can't expect a stranger to help out then who would? And who would you help in a time of need? Who are the people in your life whom you would help out anytime, with any problem? Those people should be front and center in your life.
We all get busy. We have endless to-do lists and jam packed calendars. Do any of the entries on those list the most important people in your life? Have you scheduled lunch with a friend? Golf with a brother?
Scheduling simple activities like having coffee with someone who is important to you will make sure it happens. Even if you have to reschedule (and reschedule and reschedule) putting it on your calendar helps to make sure you see them.
I have an amazing friend who I've known since high school. We usually only manage to see each other a couple times a year - and those only happen when we put a date on the calendar. There have been times when we've changed the day several times, but we did end up getting together. If we didn't schedule it, it would never happen.
These are the people who are important to you, the ones you enjoy spending time with - so go do it. Spend time with them. It will make you happier and lead you one step closer to your extraordinary life. After all, can you really have an extraordinary life without the people you care about most? Pick up the phone and plan some fun.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Power of NO to Shape Our Life
No can be an amazingly powerful, wonderful, freeing word. It is a word that allows us to do work that matches our talents and interests. It helps us stay in alignment with our priorities. And it helps us shape our life into one we love.
How can it do that? By using it when we are invited to do something. Any obligation, commitment or activity that becomes part of our lives usually starts with an invitation. When someone asks you to do something just thank them for asking and tell them you will give them an answer tomorrow.
That's all - just take 24 hrs to think about it. Think about the opportunity. Does it sound like something you would enjoy doing? Is it a good fit with your skills and talents? Does it fit with your priorities? If not - just say no. Be gracious but firm.
When you are careful about choosing activities and commitments that are in alignment with your priorities, and are a good fit with your life, you will fill your days with things you enjoy doing and that make you feel good about your life. You will start shaping your life into one you love.
If you want more information on this topic go to www.ChooseMyLifeNow.com to get Choice Nuggets. In the first week you will receive an article which covers this topic in more depth and includes a second tip.
How can it do that? By using it when we are invited to do something. Any obligation, commitment or activity that becomes part of our lives usually starts with an invitation. When someone asks you to do something just thank them for asking and tell them you will give them an answer tomorrow.
That's all - just take 24 hrs to think about it. Think about the opportunity. Does it sound like something you would enjoy doing? Is it a good fit with your skills and talents? Does it fit with your priorities? If not - just say no. Be gracious but firm.
When you are careful about choosing activities and commitments that are in alignment with your priorities, and are a good fit with your life, you will fill your days with things you enjoy doing and that make you feel good about your life. You will start shaping your life into one you love.
If you want more information on this topic go to www.ChooseMyLifeNow.com to get Choice Nuggets. In the first week you will receive an article which covers this topic in more depth and includes a second tip.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
How's your day going?
Whew! What a week. We are launching our community/members area at ReclaimU.com next week which is very exciting and very busy. In addition to that, those of you who read regularly know my dad had surgery; well he had some complications which landed him back in the hospital (and he is fine now - thanks for all the prayers!) What does all that mean? It means things were ripe for me to lose some of my good habits and routines - and that is exactly what happened.
Yesterday I noticed myself getting into a twirl of annoyance, frustration and irritation. While I'd love to blame it on a cold rainy day I also knew that wasn't really it. So I sat back and took a look and this is what I saw:
What happened? I felt better, got more done and met all my goals for the day.
So what's the moral of the story? Actually you get a 2 for 1 deal today.
Yesterday I noticed myself getting into a twirl of annoyance, frustration and irritation. While I'd love to blame it on a cold rainy day I also knew that wasn't really it. So I sat back and took a look and this is what I saw:
- lots of stress
- very busy
- no down time
- sleeping later
- no thinking about goals (only how things were getting in the way)
- no day dreaming about wonderful things
- no family fun time
- no morning "setting up my day" time
What happened? I felt better, got more done and met all my goals for the day.
So what's the moral of the story? Actually you get a 2 for 1 deal today.
- You get to choose how you feel about your circumstances. You can whine and feel terrible or you can look for the good and feel good.
- Pushing isn't always the answer. Sometimes stopping to refocus, regroup or recharge actually gets us the goal faster.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Choose to Celebrate
Celebrations - what achievement are you celebrating? You are on a journey and there are lots of milestones along the way. I want you to celebrate each one. Perhapse you are working on an organization plan and today you walked in the door and put everything into "its place" instead of dumping it on the kitchen table. That's something to celebrate! That is a step forward and it moved you closer to your goal.
Tomorrow you may be celebrating a large goal achieved - you ran a marathon or followed your budget for an entire year. Whether it's your first sale in your new business or achieving $100,000 in profit, a celebration is called for and helps you move forward.
Think about the good feelings you get when you congratulate yourself. Let's try this. Take a moment and think of something you did today that you are happy about or proud of. Just something little - "I chose fruit for my afternoon snack." "I got up early and went for a walk." "I created a great marketing plan." Now think about that accomplishment and tell yourself "Good job!" Give yourself a little pat on the back. How do you feel right now? Do you feel good about yourself? It is the time you spent thinking good thoughts about yourself that did it. And when we feel good about ourselves we achieve more and do better. That gives us another opportunity to congratulate ourselves so we feel good , achieve more and do even better. That gives us another opportunity. . . get the picture?
Celebration IS important, in all things great and small. So take some time, congratulate yourself, and celebrate your successes!
Tomorrow you may be celebrating a large goal achieved - you ran a marathon or followed your budget for an entire year. Whether it's your first sale in your new business or achieving $100,000 in profit, a celebration is called for and helps you move forward.
Think about the good feelings you get when you congratulate yourself. Let's try this. Take a moment and think of something you did today that you are happy about or proud of. Just something little - "I chose fruit for my afternoon snack." "I got up early and went for a walk." "I created a great marketing plan." Now think about that accomplishment and tell yourself "Good job!" Give yourself a little pat on the back. How do you feel right now? Do you feel good about yourself? It is the time you spent thinking good thoughts about yourself that did it. And when we feel good about ourselves we achieve more and do better. That gives us another opportunity to congratulate ourselves so we feel good , achieve more and do even better. That gives us another opportunity. . . get the picture?
Celebration IS important, in all things great and small. So take some time, congratulate yourself, and celebrate your successes!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Who to Listen to
Have you ever shared your dream with someone only to have them laugh at you, or point out all the reasons it won't work? Dream stealers. That's what we call people who do that. They do it for many reasons, most commonly because they are trying to protect you or because when you change it will mess with their world. Don't let them mess with yours!
When you have a dream don't let other people stop you with their fears. Sometimes that means keeping the dream to yourself, at least until you are strong enough and confident enough to move forward in spite of their comments. Share your dream with people who will encourage you and help you grow - and who those people are might surprise you.
Sometimes you have to move outside of your family and close friends to find support. You may want to join a group or club, you may want to find a community - just look for something where people are focused on growing. Look for a supportive environment. That doesn't mean people who smile and say go for it all the time - that means people who will give advice, encouragement, honest opinions and support.
Remember - you get to choose who to listen to. Choose wisely.
When you have a dream don't let other people stop you with their fears. Sometimes that means keeping the dream to yourself, at least until you are strong enough and confident enough to move forward in spite of their comments. Share your dream with people who will encourage you and help you grow - and who those people are might surprise you.
Sometimes you have to move outside of your family and close friends to find support. You may want to join a group or club, you may want to find a community - just look for something where people are focused on growing. Look for a supportive environment. That doesn't mean people who smile and say go for it all the time - that means people who will give advice, encouragement, honest opinions and support.
Remember - you get to choose who to listen to. Choose wisely.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Two Small Choices - One Great Joy
I made a choice last week. One of those seemingly inconsequential little choices that only took a moment. I decided to send an e-mail. I know - no big deal. I send e-mail every day in my work. But my week was stressful and busy and this was personal. Taking the time to ask for help was a small, conscious choice.
My father was having surgery and I asked some friends to pray for him . What was so surprising is how much I received by asking. I was humbled and filled with joy and comfort all at once - amazed at the outpouring of support from these women. Women I don't see very often because of all our responsibilities. Women who are very busy and, in spite of that, not only took my request to heart, but took the time to e-mail me as well.
That's the joy of life. Those little surprises we get when we make a choice. Those unexpected moments of joy or comfort. The times that make us smile.
So to all those women I send a heartfelt thank you. My dad's surgery was an amazing success and he is doing very well. Thank you for your prayers and thank you for making the choice to answer my e-mail - it was a wonderful gift.
My father was having surgery and I asked some friends to pray for him . What was so surprising is how much I received by asking. I was humbled and filled with joy and comfort all at once - amazed at the outpouring of support from these women. Women I don't see very often because of all our responsibilities. Women who are very busy and, in spite of that, not only took my request to heart, but took the time to e-mail me as well.
That's the joy of life. Those little surprises we get when we make a choice. Those unexpected moments of joy or comfort. The times that make us smile.
So to all those women I send a heartfelt thank you. My dad's surgery was an amazing success and he is doing very well. Thank you for your prayers and thank you for making the choice to answer my e-mail - it was a wonderful gift.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Lessons from the Labyrinth - Focus on Your Own Path
When I was walking a labyrinth recently I had the privilege of sharing the experience with about 20 other women. It was very different from walking it alone and I noticed something interesting. As you are walking you have no idea whether someone is walking toward the center or away from it. You don't know if they are close to reaching it or a very long way from it. You can't even tell whether they are ahead of you or behind you on the path.
So it goes in life. We have a tendency to watch other people's lives from the outside and compare ourselves to what we see in them. We compare our progress toward a goal or dream to what we think is theirs. In truth, we have no idea whether they are just inches from their goal, or have miles to walk. We don't know if they are in front of us or behing us. Does it really even matter?
As in the labyrinth we just have to trust that we are on our path and it will lead us to our dreams if we just keep moving forward. It is not a race, and you can't even compare your journey to someone else's.
So it goes in life. We have a tendency to watch other people's lives from the outside and compare ourselves to what we see in them. We compare our progress toward a goal or dream to what we think is theirs. In truth, we have no idea whether they are just inches from their goal, or have miles to walk. We don't know if they are in front of us or behing us. Does it really even matter?
As in the labyrinth we just have to trust that we are on our path and it will lead us to our dreams if we just keep moving forward. It is not a race, and you can't even compare your journey to someone else's.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Spring Cleaning Your Life
As spring arrives, we open the windows and invite the fresh air in. We start clearing out the clutter and making room for the new.
Have you considered doing the same thing for your life? Think about it. You’ve been living your life for quite a while. Along the way you have picked up a lot of stuff – ideas, habits, responsibilities… But do you ever take the time to go back and clear out the things that have outlived their usefulness?
Maybe you loved playing softball and it was great exercise, but now you are taking a yoga class and softball is just taking up room on your calendar.
Perhaps you enjoyed working on a committee at your children’s school but now you find it more interesting and impactful to work on community planning.
You’ve grown, changed and moved on, but have your commitments?
The way to find out is to do a spring cleaning on your calendar. Take out your calendar and look at the appointments on it. Are they things you enjoy doing? Are they relevant to your life, interests and talents?
Just as you would spring clean your closet you can spring clean your calendar.
- Take everything out
- Evaluate each item
Does it fit - is this a good fit with your life?
Is it in style - does this match your talents or areas you want to grow?
Do you like it - is it enjoyable?
Is it still in good condition - does it add value? - Sort them into piles – 1. things to throw out 2. things to adjust 3. things to keep
- Make the choices and change your commitments
This will get your calendar in sinc with your priorities and help you create an extraordinary life. Enjoy!
The Future Shifts Our Comfort Zones
I was reading Daryn Kagan's blog this morning and she had this great quote. "The future enters into us, in order to transform us, long before it happens. " Ranier Maria Rilke
Wow - I get it! Have you ever felt like you just didn't belong anymore? This life you're living, this job you're working, the things you've been doing for years just don't fit you anymore. It is a very disturbing feeling, but now I see it. The future has come to me.
What is really fascinating about this is bringing it together with the concept of comfort zones. The "place" we live our lives every day is our comfort zone. It's pretty easy to be there. And making major changes takes us outside our comfort zone. Leaving it is difficult, and the single greatest reason we don't go after our dreams.
But what happens if we don't fit in anymore - if our comfort zone is no longer comfortable? Now we are pushed to go after a dream, reach a goal, because we are going to have to move to find a new comfort zone. The future has come to us and we can choose to sit around and be uncomfortable, or rise to meet the challenge and discover new horizons. I choose to go on the adventure! Will you come along?
Wow - I get it! Have you ever felt like you just didn't belong anymore? This life you're living, this job you're working, the things you've been doing for years just don't fit you anymore. It is a very disturbing feeling, but now I see it. The future has come to me.
What is really fascinating about this is bringing it together with the concept of comfort zones. The "place" we live our lives every day is our comfort zone. It's pretty easy to be there. And making major changes takes us outside our comfort zone. Leaving it is difficult, and the single greatest reason we don't go after our dreams.
But what happens if we don't fit in anymore - if our comfort zone is no longer comfortable? Now we are pushed to go after a dream, reach a goal, because we are going to have to move to find a new comfort zone. The future has come to us and we can choose to sit around and be uncomfortable, or rise to meet the challenge and discover new horizons. I choose to go on the adventure! Will you come along?
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Listening
This morning's quote was interesting. "One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears--by listening to them." -- Dean Rusk
What does this have to do with choices? And what does it have to do with creating an extraordinary life?
We have choices even in the little moments of our days. We choose whether to speak or listen. We choose whether to push our agenda or respect others. We choose to fight or to create harmony.
I believe that when we block others, speak over them, and reject ideas without consideration, we are creating a life with stress. Think about it. When you are in confrontation with someone, how do you feel? Now contrast that with listening respectfully, possibly disagreeing, and having a discussion. How does that feel?
I am not saying you will agree with everyone you meet. What I do believe is that when we listen to others with respect and an open mind we end up with a peace filled moment rather than a stress filled moment. And you never know, maybe we can learn something in the process:)
What does this have to do with choices? And what does it have to do with creating an extraordinary life?
We have choices even in the little moments of our days. We choose whether to speak or listen. We choose whether to push our agenda or respect others. We choose to fight or to create harmony.
I believe that when we block others, speak over them, and reject ideas without consideration, we are creating a life with stress. Think about it. When you are in confrontation with someone, how do you feel? Now contrast that with listening respectfully, possibly disagreeing, and having a discussion. How does that feel?
I am not saying you will agree with everyone you meet. What I do believe is that when we listen to others with respect and an open mind we end up with a peace filled moment rather than a stress filled moment. And you never know, maybe we can learn something in the process:)
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Lessons from the Labyrinth - Finding Center
Have you ever walked a labyrinth? It's quite an experience. One of the fascinating aspects is that you really don't know where you are on your path. You know you're headed to the center, but the path twists and winds and runs from end to end in such a way that you never know how close you are.
One minute you are standing right next to the center, you can reach out and touch it, then the path takes you to the farthest border and once again you have no idea how to reach it.
Then you are as far as you can be from the center, you turn a corner and WOW - it's right there! You can see it, and the path is just a tiny bit of straight path to reach it.
So it goes with our goals and dreams. Oftentimes we can't see where we are on the path. We don't know exactly when or how we will reach the center (our goal, dream). We just have to trust that if we keep choosing to do things that move us closer to our goal, we will get there.
One minute you are standing right next to the center, you can reach out and touch it, then the path takes you to the farthest border and once again you have no idea how to reach it.
Then you are as far as you can be from the center, you turn a corner and WOW - it's right there! You can see it, and the path is just a tiny bit of straight path to reach it.
So it goes with our goals and dreams. Oftentimes we can't see where we are on the path. We don't know exactly when or how we will reach the center (our goal, dream). We just have to trust that if we keep choosing to do things that move us closer to our goal, we will get there.
Monday, March 3, 2008
The Wisdom of Doing Something
Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't feel up to doing anything?
Do you ever look at your business and think you're never going to make any money?
Are you thinking that you'll never get out from under the mountain of stuff you have to do?
Does it just feel like too much?
There is only one solution I know to any of those scenarios - action!
Doing something is the key to success. If you are feeling down and can't get motivated to dive right in then sitting around will bring you down even further. You feel guilty about not doing anything and the thing you are supposed to be doing looms larger and larger in front of you.
However, when you do something, anything, it gives you a little bit of confidence and a little bit of satisfaction. Now you feel a little bit better. Often times it opens the floodgates and you end up diving in and doing a big chunk of the work.
Either way you have moved forward - one step or ten - but forward.
So on those difficult days, when life or work get you down, just do something - and enjoy the positive feelings afterward.
Do you ever look at your business and think you're never going to make any money?
Are you thinking that you'll never get out from under the mountain of stuff you have to do?
Does it just feel like too much?
There is only one solution I know to any of those scenarios - action!
Doing something is the key to success. If you are feeling down and can't get motivated to dive right in then sitting around will bring you down even further. You feel guilty about not doing anything and the thing you are supposed to be doing looms larger and larger in front of you.
However, when you do something, anything, it gives you a little bit of confidence and a little bit of satisfaction. Now you feel a little bit better. Often times it opens the floodgates and you end up diving in and doing a big chunk of the work.
Either way you have moved forward - one step or ten - but forward.
So on those difficult days, when life or work get you down, just do something - and enjoy the positive feelings afterward.
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