Fear - the Great "Unequalizer"

People talk about things being great equalizers, well I think of fear as the great "unequalizer". How you respond to your own fears have a huge impact on your life. People who run from their fears will miss out on the most amazing opportunities. If you can learn to move forward inspite of your fear then you will create much more of what you want in your life.


I highly recommend reading the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Susan Jeffers has a way of helping us understand our fears and teaches us how to work with them and keep moving forward in spite of the fear.


Know in your heart that you can handle anything. You are not expected to get everything right, just deal with it no matter how it turns out. This is what is called failing forward. You can mess everything up, but if you keep doing it in a way that moves you forward you will still reach your goals.

Giving to Feel Good

Giving connects two people, the giver and the receiver. This connection gives birth to a new sense of belonging. – Deepak Chopra

So often in our life we are walking around focused on something we are unhappy about in our life, and waiting for someone to do something that makes us feel good. What if we choose to do something ourselves? What if we do something for someone else? Hmmm…now they feel good and we feel good too.

Giving to Grow Business

"Giving connects two people, the giver and the receiver. This connection gives birth to a new sense of belonging." – Deepak Chopra

While I hardly think that Deepak was thinking about business when he wrote this, he hit the nail on the head. Where do you like to do business? At the place that makes you feel good.

I know myself that I have the greatest loyalty to businesses that show they care about me. I see the doctor who listens to me and values my opinions. I recommend the printer who has given me advice on my marketing pieces. When I feel important, and taken care of, I return to a business – even go out of my way to go there – and send my friends as well.

Take a look at your business, or the way you interact with others in your job. What can you give the next customer, co-worker or employee? Choose to give them something – assistance, listening, guidance, service – that is of value to them. Continue doing this and watch things grow.

Reality Check

Okay - reality check here. Living your dream, living your extraordinary life does not mean everything will be easy and you will always be happy. It just means that walking through the muck is worth the trip.

Happy Dance

Okay guys, try this.
Stand up and do a little happy dance. Yes, right now. Stop reading and dance.


How do you feel? I bet you feel a little better/happier/sillier than you did before you did your dance.

Why? Because actions create feelings. So if you don't like the way you are feeling go do something to change it. Even something little helps. If you don't know what else to do, do a little happy dance. It's your choice - how do you want to feel?

Making a Living or Making a Life

What part does your job play in your life? Is it a miserable chunk of your day that you slog through just to pay the bills? Does your work dominate your entire life? Is your job a valuable piece of your day?


We all need to pay the bills, and we all need fulfillment. The question is, "Is your job a healthy, balanced portion of your life?" That can mean different things to different people. Some people like a simple job that they can leave behind at the end of the day. Some people love a challenge and want their work to stretch them. And some people want their work and life to blend together, working and playing off of each other. These are all fine ways to make a living. Just make sure you take time to consider how you want work to fit into your life. Then make choices that get you to that point.


You can work an 8 hour day or a 16 hour day and be miserable. You can work a 5 hour day or a 20 hour day and love it. Balancing work in your life isn't about the number of hours you work. It is about how work fits with the rest of your life. So take a look at the role you are choosing to let your work take.
Is it a place you stay to hide from your life?
Is a place you go to avoid interacting with others or creating relationships?
Does it give you your entire identity or do you have a strong sense of self outside of work?

Choose your work - the type, the hours, the importance - and make it fit into your life.


More information on balance in your life will be available in Sandy's new book. To be the first to know when it's available go to http://www.choosemylifenow.com/ and sign up for the email notification.

The Balance of Work

Are you making work your life? Maybe you love your job and you love to work long hours. It makes you feel good and fills you up. Great! It's wonderful when we love our work. But take a few minutes and think about your life. Is there anything besides work? Rarely can work truly be enough to create an extraordinary life.

Many times people feel that taking out time for themselves or taking time away from work for personal activities will detract from their work. What's surprising is that the opposite is generally true. Not only does our personal life "feed" us, it makes our work better. Look at the bottom of a pair of running shoes. See the design? You may remember back to when tennis shoes first had the waffle design on the bottom. The inspiration for that literally came from a waffle maker when someone at a shoe company was hanging out with his wife and making waffles. Now that's inspiration! And it came from personal time.

I know that when work isn't going great usually the best thing I can do is take a little creative sebatical. That might be an hour lyng in my hammock or a weekend camping trip. I know a business coach who schedules week long creative sebaticals into her calendar several times a year.

So take a look at the balance in your life. Are you using your work to create your life, or are you creating a life with work being a healthy piece?

Get more about this in Sandy's new book. You can register to be notified when it's ready at www.ChooseMyLifeNow.com and be the first to know when it's available.

More on intentions and outcomes

It's been a fascinating week. Since I wrote the blog about focusing on the intention/your actions I've been careful about doing it in my life. So myself, my husband and my business have all been just doing what we needed to do to move in the direction we want to go and not worrying about the outcome. It is amazing how much more you can get done, and how much more you enjoy it, when you are focusing on your actions and not worrying about how things will turn out.

Try it out yourself. Whatever you are doing in your life or in business, just look at where you are going and do things that move you in that direction. Don't worry about how it is going to turn out - just do your part.

Little Celebrations

Going with this idea of celebrating...Do you celebrate your accomplishments? Oh I know, when something big happens you go out to dinner or toast it with champaigne or whatever. But did you celebrate when you picked up the phone and made the tough sales call? Did you celebrate when you cooked dinner instead of grabbing fast food? Why not? Celebrating makes you feel good and that gives you great momentum to keep moving forward in a positive direction.

There is always something that we are working to improve in ourselves and we're great at pointing out our failures and beating ourselves up over the tiniest slip. Now I invite you to celebrate every victory and the tiniest accomplishment.

Happy Dance

When's the last time you celebrated something? How did it feel? I bet it felt good - and I bet that when you feel good you can do more and do it better. So what would it be like if you celebrated little accomplishments? Even things that just happen? Maybe it would create some good momentum to help you through your day.

My kids and husband sometimes think I'm crazy because I have my little happy dance and I'll do it for little things or even just because the sun is out (hey, I live in Michigan and seeing the sun can be a treat). I like to do it because it makes me feel good. I don't wait until I feel good to do the dance - I find a reason to do it and let the dance make me feel good. And that energizes me and launches me forward.

So now you have a choice to make. You can believe I'm a nut and go on with your day OR you can do a happy dance. What's it going to be?

Intentions and outcomes

Interesting conversations going on here today and thought I'd share some of it with you. I asked someone for an objective opinion on a business decision I had to make. I made a deal with someone and they didn't entirely live up to their end of it - so I had a choice to make. I could let it go, or I could ask for them to "make it right". Well, neither of those options felt right to me. Letting it go left me feeling frustrated and used. And asking for financial restitution just felt petty. So what's a girl to do?

I asked for help. I asked someone I respect to evaluate the situation. Then we went into more detail, went off on a huge tangent which worked it's way back to the original issue, and I made a decision. I decided that I wasn't looking for a particular outcome - I just needed to respect myself enough to not get walked on and respect the other party enough to allow them room to make a mistake. The deal worked out all right for me in the end and any financial restitution would be minimal so I didn't need them to reimburse me. What I did need was to respect myself. So I decided to simply, kindly and casually address the situation with the person who didn't live up to their end of the deal. This way I am respecting myself and them.

It all worked out beautifully and I learned that it isn't always an outcome we are looking for. Sometimes we are just making a choice about how to treat ourselves and it is our intention in a situation that is more important than the outcome. By choosing to let go of my need to control the outcome I was able to find a solutions that let me feel good about myself, the other person in the deal and the outcome - no matter what it turned out to be.

A Listening Experiment

Continuing on with the listening theme - have you ever considered your dreams? Those little movies that run while you're sleeping. I've heard a lot of different thoughts about what they mean, why we have them, interpreting them, etc and I've never really paid attention; with one glaring exception. That one dream which puts you into a stressed out state - falling - flying - having to make a public speech - walking down the street naked - or in my case I'm in college and it's time for my final exams but I have not cracked a book all term UGH! Over the years I've realized I have that dream when I feel stressed out and behind in some area of my life. So now I know when that dream shows up it's time to do a little prioritizing and time management.

But why college? I'm not there - and haven't been for a long time. I think it's the feeling. The feeling I would get in that situation is the same one I am creating in my daily life. The dream shows up because I am focused on feeling that same way.

So I think I'm going to start paying closer attention to the way my dreams make me feel . Maybe I can identify areas of my life that are going great and seeing areas I can choose to improve with more positive thoughts, choices and actions. I'll let you know what happens.

What's Your Zone?

My kids like to give me a hard time. They can’t understand why I go to bed so early or why I get up “in the middle of the night” if I wake up instead of rolling over and going back to sleep. It’s really very simple – it sets me up to have a great day. The world is asleep. It’s quiet. I feel the best inspirations early in the morning. By 8 a.m. my work is mostly done.

I never would have classified myself as a morning person but in my senior year of college I had to set up all my classes back to back from 8-noon. So I went to classes in the morning, did my homework and assignments in the afternoon and had my evenings free. That term I was on top of all my work, got great grades, and it took much less effort. Wow! Quite a discovery. Although I hate getting out of bed, I am most productive in the mornings.

So now if I wake up an hour or two before my alarm, instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I get up. And I love it (not getting out of my comfy bed, but the way it makes me feel to be up and in “my zone”). So what’s your zone? When do you feel the best and do your best?

Setting Up Your Day

I was looking at my work and wondering why I didn’t have much for you in the blog last week when it hit me – habits. Have you ever noticed that a few small habits can change your entire day?

I found that a few small habits can change the tone and productivity of my days. After I get up I have a small routine where I start with “me” time. This is my time to get quiet, meditate, pray, whatever. After this I feed the critters; then if I have an inspiration I’ll write my blog. Once that’s done I check my calendar and to do list for the day, so I know what to expect, then I check e-mail. It’s a very simple thing and usually only takes about an hour but it sets me up for a good day.

Last week I didn’t follow this little routine and you didn’t get much of a blog – and I felt like I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off all week. I guess the “proof is in the pudding”. And I like my pudding with a little form so I’m back into my habits and I invite you to create a few of your own.

Listening Lessons

Have you ever noticed how a message just gets in your face? Everytime you turn around it's there. I had one of those the last couple days. It's in an article I read, a quote in my mailbox, and newsletters for business tips. It's a simple message about how listening is more important than saying the right things or having all the answers.

So I noticed the message and what I realized this morning is that I had 2 opportunities to put into practice what I learned. Two people close to me were struggling with some difficult issues in their lives and all I did was be there to listen - and it was enough. They weren't looking for me to solve their problems, or even make suggestions; just to be there.

All I can say is choose to listen. There are lessons all around us and when we listen to the lessons and put them into practice we will benefit.

What's Happening

Okay guys - I am glad you are enjoying the blog and I would love to get more in touch with where you're at in your life, what kind of choices you need to make. So I am inviting you to send me an e-mail letting me know what's happening in your world, what choices you are facing and what help the blog may have been to you. You can e-mail me at SandyFowler@ChooseMyLifeNow.com I look forward to hearing from you!

Spring Clean Your Life

Spring has sprung! My kids are outside again - riding bikes, poking around the pond and the woods and tossing a frisbee. It's great to see them enjoying the great outdoors again (for more than 30 minutes). Even better is that I am motivated again. I have finally come out of hibernation and my weekends are becoming times of outdoor fun and indoor cleaning. Yes, spring is the time when I get the urge to move all the furniture and spring clean the whole house. It is also a time when I start spring cleaning my life - when I move out old ideas and activities and usher in the new. It adds energy and enthusiasm that has lain dormant all winter and it feels great! Just like you clear out your house, you can clear out your life. Doing this helps you spend your time doing the things that are in alignment with your priorities and creating the life you love to live. I encourage you to re-evaluate how and where you spend your time and to spring clean your life as well. For more information on spring cleaning your life you can listen to my interview on ReclaimU Radio. It is posted on my website at www.ChooseMyLifeNow.com/speaking.html

Turning Points

I was thinking about turning points. It's interesting because I was thinking about two different options - turning points we choose and turning points that just happen in our lives. Things we choose would be things like changing careers, handling our investments differently, ending or beginning a relationship. Things that just happen might be things like a promotion, a death, an accident or winning a drawing.

A good friend of mine experienced a turning point this week when her father died. I had thought of this as a turning point that just happens and this morning I realized that while the death is something that happens, we still choose how to handle it. So it becomes a turning point we choose. I know my friend had to decide whether to let herself feel the grief and deal with the pain and emotions or to stuff them down. That is a huge turning point, and an opportunity for us to make a choice that can greatly affect our lives.

I think it is freeing to realize that even when we feel like things are happening out of our control we still get to choose. We can still make our life better by choosing to learn lessons, to face emotions and to enjoy little moments.