Intentions and outcomes

Interesting conversations going on here today and thought I'd share some of it with you. I asked someone for an objective opinion on a business decision I had to make. I made a deal with someone and they didn't entirely live up to their end of it - so I had a choice to make. I could let it go, or I could ask for them to "make it right". Well, neither of those options felt right to me. Letting it go left me feeling frustrated and used. And asking for financial restitution just felt petty. So what's a girl to do?

I asked for help. I asked someone I respect to evaluate the situation. Then we went into more detail, went off on a huge tangent which worked it's way back to the original issue, and I made a decision. I decided that I wasn't looking for a particular outcome - I just needed to respect myself enough to not get walked on and respect the other party enough to allow them room to make a mistake. The deal worked out all right for me in the end and any financial restitution would be minimal so I didn't need them to reimburse me. What I did need was to respect myself. So I decided to simply, kindly and casually address the situation with the person who didn't live up to their end of the deal. This way I am respecting myself and them.

It all worked out beautifully and I learned that it isn't always an outcome we are looking for. Sometimes we are just making a choice about how to treat ourselves and it is our intention in a situation that is more important than the outcome. By choosing to let go of my need to control the outcome I was able to find a solutions that let me feel good about myself, the other person in the deal and the outcome - no matter what it turned out to be.