“In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip!” -- Daniel L. Reardon
I love that quote! It sums up your choice about how you look at things. People will say things to me like, "That's reality" or "That's the way things really are". Are they? How do you know? That's your perception of how things are, and even if they are that way I'd rather be an optimist and enjoy my days.
If you spend all of your time making contingency plans and making sure you are prepared for the worst then you never get to enjoy the best. Trust me, I know. I lived the first 35 years of my life as the consumate planner. I never went anywhere without an aresenal of back-up items. What I've discovered is that I have a lot more fun when I don't spend most of my waking hours thinking about all of the things I might need, or all of the possible ways things can play out then preparing for all of them. Now I choose to enjoy the moment I'm in and trust that I'm smart enough to improvise and make do with whatever I have at the moment. Of course I do still have extra tissues and a couple safety pins in my purse, but hey, a girl's got to be a little bit prepared and knowing there is a first aid kit in the car lets me enjoy our family hikes in the woods even more.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Getting to the root of things
I was speaking with a business acquaintance the other day. She is a therapist and I asked her what issue the majority of her clients were dealing with. The answer was fascinating. She said the majority of them THOUGHT they were anxious, depressed, or needed help because they were getting, planning on getting, or had gotten, a divorce. After working with her many of them discovered that the real issue wasn't the marriage but rather something going on inside themselves, a need to live a more authentic life.
What is fascinating about this is how we point to an area of our life and say, "That's it! That's the problem. If I just fix this, or make this go away, I'll be happy". When often times the only place we can go to make us happy is inside.
So I guess this is a cautionary blog. When you see something that you think is causing the problems and unhappiness in your life be very careful. And always take time to consider if you are just at a point where you need to be true to yourself, to let your goals, dreams, talents and intuitions shape your life. When we are living a life that was put upon us, or that we designed without regard for who we truly are, it catches up with us. When that happens we become uncomfortable, unhappy or even depressed. This is a time where we start looking for the cause of our feelings and can often pin the blame on the wrong thing.
Remember, the way you deal with your life and your feelings is your choice. Choose wisely and carefully and don't hesitate to seek help. An unbiased viewpoint can do wonders for clarifying our vision.
Today I send you a wish for clarity, vision and happiness.
What is fascinating about this is how we point to an area of our life and say, "That's it! That's the problem. If I just fix this, or make this go away, I'll be happy". When often times the only place we can go to make us happy is inside.
So I guess this is a cautionary blog. When you see something that you think is causing the problems and unhappiness in your life be very careful. And always take time to consider if you are just at a point where you need to be true to yourself, to let your goals, dreams, talents and intuitions shape your life. When we are living a life that was put upon us, or that we designed without regard for who we truly are, it catches up with us. When that happens we become uncomfortable, unhappy or even depressed. This is a time where we start looking for the cause of our feelings and can often pin the blame on the wrong thing.
Remember, the way you deal with your life and your feelings is your choice. Choose wisely and carefully and don't hesitate to seek help. An unbiased viewpoint can do wonders for clarifying our vision.
Today I send you a wish for clarity, vision and happiness.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Making Choices to Improve Your Life
People ask me, "How do I know if I'm making the right choices for my life?" Good question. Sometimes it's hard to know if you're making the right choices. This is especially true when you are at a Turning Point or when you are going through a difficult moment of transition and growth. Let's face it, getting our lives to look the way we want can mean going through an uncomfortable or even painful time.
When I want to see if I'm on track I do that by listening to myself. What I suggest is taking some time when things are quiet, I like to do this in the wee hours of the morning when life is very still, sit down and get really quiet inside. Let all thoughts of work and family and to do lists just slip away. Let all of your momentary frustrations or concerns lie by the wayside. Then think about the core of your life, your everyday life, and notice how you feel. Do you feel exicted, comfortable, happy? Do you feel anxious, stressed, or uncomfortable? Notice these feelings but don't judge them.
Now think about your future. Think about the direction you are taking your life and notice your feelings again. Generally speaking, if you tend to feel good when you think about your life you are probably making good choices for yourself. If you tend to feel upset or negative feelings you could examine things in more detail, see where the root of the negative feeling lies. If the root is just in thinking about the way you are spending your time then your choices may not be the best for you right now. You may need to consider making choices that are more in line with your personal goals and dreams. If the negative feelings are just around one area, or one relationship, then you probably need to take a look at the choices you are making in that area, but your general life direction could be right on.
Bottom line, go inside and see how you feel. When you are making choices that are right for you, and are moving you forward, you will generally feel good or positive when you think about the way your life is going. Trust your gut and enjoy your life.
When I want to see if I'm on track I do that by listening to myself. What I suggest is taking some time when things are quiet, I like to do this in the wee hours of the morning when life is very still, sit down and get really quiet inside. Let all thoughts of work and family and to do lists just slip away. Let all of your momentary frustrations or concerns lie by the wayside. Then think about the core of your life, your everyday life, and notice how you feel. Do you feel exicted, comfortable, happy? Do you feel anxious, stressed, or uncomfortable? Notice these feelings but don't judge them.
Now think about your future. Think about the direction you are taking your life and notice your feelings again. Generally speaking, if you tend to feel good when you think about your life you are probably making good choices for yourself. If you tend to feel upset or negative feelings you could examine things in more detail, see where the root of the negative feeling lies. If the root is just in thinking about the way you are spending your time then your choices may not be the best for you right now. You may need to consider making choices that are more in line with your personal goals and dreams. If the negative feelings are just around one area, or one relationship, then you probably need to take a look at the choices you are making in that area, but your general life direction could be right on.
Bottom line, go inside and see how you feel. When you are making choices that are right for you, and are moving you forward, you will generally feel good or positive when you think about the way your life is going. Trust your gut and enjoy your life.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Brainstorming for ideas, productivity and feeling good
I was writing some notes for my next interview on ReclaimU Radio and I had a little epiphany I wanted to share with you.
First, a question. Do you use brainstorming as a tool in your life and in your work? If you don't I suggest starting and if you do I suggest expanding your use of it. Why? Because the more you use brainstorming the more natural it becomes. Eventually it becomes a natural part of your thought processes. When that happens the world just opens up to you. No matter what is happening you start to see possibilities all around you. Seeing those possibilities does 2 things:
1) it gives you more options in your life 2) it makes you feel good.
I've used brainstorming as a regular part of my business activities for years. Recently my husband and I have started using it in our personal life; from finances to vacations you can brainstorm possibilities. And the epiphany I had this morning was that brainstorming has become my natural way of thinking. When I look at something I see many possibilites. The second epiphany I had was that this is key for me in keeping a positive outlook. Thinking of the possibilities feels good.
So, whether you are looking for solutions to problems, new opportunities, or a chance to feel good, I highly recommend brainstorming.
Phoenix Center members will be able to learn more about brainstorming in a June ReclaimU Radio show posted in the center. For information on the Phoenix Center visit www.ReclaimU.com/PhoenixCenter.html
First, a question. Do you use brainstorming as a tool in your life and in your work? If you don't I suggest starting and if you do I suggest expanding your use of it. Why? Because the more you use brainstorming the more natural it becomes. Eventually it becomes a natural part of your thought processes. When that happens the world just opens up to you. No matter what is happening you start to see possibilities all around you. Seeing those possibilities does 2 things:
1) it gives you more options in your life 2) it makes you feel good.
I've used brainstorming as a regular part of my business activities for years. Recently my husband and I have started using it in our personal life; from finances to vacations you can brainstorm possibilities. And the epiphany I had this morning was that brainstorming has become my natural way of thinking. When I look at something I see many possibilites. The second epiphany I had was that this is key for me in keeping a positive outlook. Thinking of the possibilities feels good.
So, whether you are looking for solutions to problems, new opportunities, or a chance to feel good, I highly recommend brainstorming.
Phoenix Center members will be able to learn more about brainstorming in a June ReclaimU Radio show posted in the center. For information on the Phoenix Center visit www.ReclaimU.com/PhoenixCenter.html
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
A Dose of Reality
Whew - craziness around here. Sick kids, being the parent in charge while husband is out of town, launching business ventures, creating publicity campaign for new book - definitely more than I can, or care to do, in a day. So what's a girl to do? Make some choices - and deal with the fall out.
Sometimes important things fall by the wayside to make room for more important things. While my business is important, heck it pays the bills and buys the food, my kids are more important. So it's very easy to say I'm setting everything aside and taking care of my daughter while she is in misery from a flu bug. It is harder to say I'm going to rest while she is resting instead of pushing myself, staying up late and trying to finish everything I had on my to do list before my husband left town and my kids got sick. Instead, I'm yanking things off my to do list for this week, and when it's over I'll have to re-evaluate my overall plans and take some things off. Bottom line - I can't take 3 days to care for my family and still do everything that I had on an already full plate. Instead, I am choosing to let some things go - permanently. If I make that choice then I can relax and go forward with my plans. If I don't make the choice then I'll feel like I'm behind and in a whirl for days or weeks while I finally let some things go. I really can't do it all so I would rather make a conscious choice of what to let go of - and feel good in the mean time - rather than continually being forced to make choices minute by minute for days on end.
Aaahhh - real freedom - the freedom of choice!
Sometimes important things fall by the wayside to make room for more important things. While my business is important, heck it pays the bills and buys the food, my kids are more important. So it's very easy to say I'm setting everything aside and taking care of my daughter while she is in misery from a flu bug. It is harder to say I'm going to rest while she is resting instead of pushing myself, staying up late and trying to finish everything I had on my to do list before my husband left town and my kids got sick. Instead, I'm yanking things off my to do list for this week, and when it's over I'll have to re-evaluate my overall plans and take some things off. Bottom line - I can't take 3 days to care for my family and still do everything that I had on an already full plate. Instead, I am choosing to let some things go - permanently. If I make that choice then I can relax and go forward with my plans. If I don't make the choice then I'll feel like I'm behind and in a whirl for days or weeks while I finally let some things go. I really can't do it all so I would rather make a conscious choice of what to let go of - and feel good in the mean time - rather than continually being forced to make choices minute by minute for days on end.
Aaahhh - real freedom - the freedom of choice!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Fear Chases Away Happiness
Thinking about fear this morning and what that really means. I guess when you get right down to it fear is that emotion that stops us from doing something. Okay, well I guess that's a good thing when it's keeping you out of danger. But what about when it is stopping you from being happy? What if the only thing standing between you and your happiness is fear?
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bike? There are many emotions running through them - excitement, fear, anticipation... But when they start to really move they get this big smile. In that moment they have no fear. They are just enjoying the thrill of the ride with no thought to stopping or falling. That smile is happiness.
So what fears are you letting stand in the way of your happiness today? Forget the big picture. Forget about how you're going to get to a goal, pay the bill or make your deadline. Those thoughts are usually surrounded by fear. What do you have to be happy about right now? What can you smile about in this moment? Be in that moment and be happy right now.
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bike? There are many emotions running through them - excitement, fear, anticipation... But when they start to really move they get this big smile. In that moment they have no fear. They are just enjoying the thrill of the ride with no thought to stopping or falling. That smile is happiness.
So what fears are you letting stand in the way of your happiness today? Forget the big picture. Forget about how you're going to get to a goal, pay the bill or make your deadline. Those thoughts are usually surrounded by fear. What do you have to be happy about right now? What can you smile about in this moment? Be in that moment and be happy right now.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sanity Management Techniques
Looks like it's time to get into some time management, or actually sanity management. I've spoken to a couple old clients recently who are facing turning points in their lives and they were stressed out to the max. While they are trying to decipher their feelings, and understand all the stress in their lives, I just listened. As I listened to them I heard a common theme which boiled down to time utilization.
How can stress be about time? Well, as I walked through a basic excercise with one woman we discovered that she was trying to cram 14 hours worth of work into 7. Her husband is out of town for a few months so she has suddenly become a single parent at a time when they are planning a move and she owns and runs multiple businesses. She had a full plate and added all these new things to do because of this turning point her life is at. Do you think that would cause a little stress? We all have full plates and when we work on a Turning Point in our lives we usually start taking on more without taking out any of the old. That's a classic recipe for stress.
Another gentleman I spoke to was worried and stressed all day long about things he needed to do . Then he started out the next morning beating himself up about not doing them. So things aren't getting done which means they pile up. Then his morning starts with all the thoughts of how terrible and inept he is. Sets him up for a really great day, right? NOT! In his case, he needs some excercise every day to feel good. He also has a few tasks to do each day surrounding an area of his life which is changing - and they freak him out. So we devised a plan just for his mornings to get him off on the right foot.
If you want all the details about how you can do some sanity management techniques when you are at a turning point in your life sign up for ReclaimU's Tidbits. You will receive a series of articles and inspirational information, one of which is this one on sanity management techniques. You can get your free articles at http://www.reclaimu.com/tidbits.html
Here's to your sanity!
How can stress be about time? Well, as I walked through a basic excercise with one woman we discovered that she was trying to cram 14 hours worth of work into 7. Her husband is out of town for a few months so she has suddenly become a single parent at a time when they are planning a move and she owns and runs multiple businesses. She had a full plate and added all these new things to do because of this turning point her life is at. Do you think that would cause a little stress? We all have full plates and when we work on a Turning Point in our lives we usually start taking on more without taking out any of the old. That's a classic recipe for stress.
Another gentleman I spoke to was worried and stressed all day long about things he needed to do . Then he started out the next morning beating himself up about not doing them. So things aren't getting done which means they pile up. Then his morning starts with all the thoughts of how terrible and inept he is. Sets him up for a really great day, right? NOT! In his case, he needs some excercise every day to feel good. He also has a few tasks to do each day surrounding an area of his life which is changing - and they freak him out. So we devised a plan just for his mornings to get him off on the right foot.
If you want all the details about how you can do some sanity management techniques when you are at a turning point in your life sign up for ReclaimU's Tidbits. You will receive a series of articles and inspirational information, one of which is this one on sanity management techniques. You can get your free articles at http://www.reclaimu.com/tidbits.html
Here's to your sanity!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The Domino Effect
I can't believe it's been almost a week since I blogged. Were you wondering what happened? Simple - I fell out of my routine. That's it - nothing monumental, just a simple, tiny change created a domino effect and part of that effect was no blogging. I had been blogging for a few months and it's been virtually effortless because it was part of my daily routine. Then one day I let part of my morning routine slide and blogging fell off the table with it.
That's what I want to share with you today. One of the best ways to get to a goal is to create habits that move you in the direction of your goal. Judy Davis, a.k.a. the Direction Diva, wrote a great article on habits that you can read here http://ezinearticles.com/?Goals-Are-Fine-And-Dandy-But-Habits-Create-Your-Life!&id=728194
Read, learn, make it a habit!
That's what I want to share with you today. One of the best ways to get to a goal is to create habits that move you in the direction of your goal. Judy Davis, a.k.a. the Direction Diva, wrote a great article on habits that you can read here http://ezinearticles.com/?Goals-Are-Fine-And-Dandy-But-Habits-Create-Your-Life!&id=728194
Read, learn, make it a habit!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Happiness in an Imperfect Life
What are you choosing to do with each individual day in your life? I know many people who are goal oriented and are very purposeful. They know what they want, or what they want to change, and they are going after it. I also know other people who believe in visualizing what you want and really focusing on your dreams. Both groups can fall into the same trap. They can get so focused on where they're going that they don't enjoy the now.
Yes, it is important to have dreams and to work toward your dreams and goals. But looking toward something new doesn't mean you can't be happy right now.
Are you looking to get out of debt and end your financial struggles?
Do you want a closer and more loving relationship with your significant other?
Is a new career or a promotion on the horizon?
Those are all great places to go. But I ask you this...
Did you have a happy moment today?
Have you had the chance to catch up with a good friend recently?
What joyful moments have you experienced lately?
Did you take the time to enjoy them? Did you soak up the happiness?
I know when our family finances haven't been what was exactly comfortable it was easy to get caught up in the stress of paying bills or "trying to fix things". But what we learned was that you can still choose to be happy, even when some aspect of your life isn't what you want it to be.
So I ask you - are you choosing to be happy? Are you choosing to enjoy your life right now? If you are struggling with this, a useful tool is a gratitude journal. Just take a journal, notebook or some paper and each day (preferably first thing in the morning and last thing at night) write down 3 things you are grateful for FROM THAT DAY.
As you continue this excercise you will see the good and focus on the things that make you happy. This focus will expand your happiness and you can choose to enjoy those moments and increase the happiness in your life - right now.
Yes, it is important to have dreams and to work toward your dreams and goals. But looking toward something new doesn't mean you can't be happy right now.
Are you looking to get out of debt and end your financial struggles?
Do you want a closer and more loving relationship with your significant other?
Is a new career or a promotion on the horizon?
Those are all great places to go. But I ask you this...
Did you have a happy moment today?
Have you had the chance to catch up with a good friend recently?
What joyful moments have you experienced lately?
Did you take the time to enjoy them? Did you soak up the happiness?
I know when our family finances haven't been what was exactly comfortable it was easy to get caught up in the stress of paying bills or "trying to fix things". But what we learned was that you can still choose to be happy, even when some aspect of your life isn't what you want it to be.
So I ask you - are you choosing to be happy? Are you choosing to enjoy your life right now? If you are struggling with this, a useful tool is a gratitude journal. Just take a journal, notebook or some paper and each day (preferably first thing in the morning and last thing at night) write down 3 things you are grateful for FROM THAT DAY.
As you continue this excercise you will see the good and focus on the things that make you happy. This focus will expand your happiness and you can choose to enjoy those moments and increase the happiness in your life - right now.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Small Choices
Is there an aspect of your life with which you are unhappy? What are you doing about it?
A girl I know had been telling me that she felt flabby and out of shape from her winter hibernation. We talked and she decided to watch her portion sizes and do more activity. Well, what I've noticed is that she is still unhappy about this but is passing up opportunities to get active. I'm not talking about a regular excercise program, working out at the gym 5 days a week or anything like that. I'm talking about the little choices she could make that would get her moving more. Remember, it's those tiny little choices that we make on a daily basis that shape the direction of our lives.
So what area of your life would you like to change? What little choices can you make that take you in the direction of your goal or dream?
Jeff Olsen has a great book on this concept called The Slight Edge. It is available at www.ReclaimU.com in the resource center.
A girl I know had been telling me that she felt flabby and out of shape from her winter hibernation. We talked and she decided to watch her portion sizes and do more activity. Well, what I've noticed is that she is still unhappy about this but is passing up opportunities to get active. I'm not talking about a regular excercise program, working out at the gym 5 days a week or anything like that. I'm talking about the little choices she could make that would get her moving more. Remember, it's those tiny little choices that we make on a daily basis that shape the direction of our lives.
So what area of your life would you like to change? What little choices can you make that take you in the direction of your goal or dream?
Jeff Olsen has a great book on this concept called The Slight Edge. It is available at www.ReclaimU.com in the resource center.
Friday, May 2, 2008
A Morning of Gratitude
This morning my world is all about gratitude. Everywhere I look I am seeing things to be grateful for, and you are one of them. So I just want to take this opportunity to say thank you. Thank you for reading the blog and for allowing me the opportunity to share all I have learned with you.
I wish you a day filled with gratitude for everything in your life.
I wish you a day filled with gratitude for everything in your life.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
The Great Discovery
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. -- Henry Ford
Making this discovery is incredible! I love watching people as they come out the end of a great struggle. They have usually been through the wringer, stretched their skills, expanded their comfort zones and shed a few tears of sadness, frustration or stress. They've made a great change in their life and now they are discovering that although it wasn't easy, they did it. They handled everything that came their way and their life is better now. They are stronger than they thought, and now they know they can do anything.
What are you avoiding because of fear? What are you missing out on? What dream are you ignoring because you're afraid you can't do it? What if you can? What if you can handle anything that comes your way? Imagine the extraordinary life you could be living. Are you ready to go for it?
If you are at a turning point in your life and looking for resources check out http://www.reclaimu.com/
Making this discovery is incredible! I love watching people as they come out the end of a great struggle. They have usually been through the wringer, stretched their skills, expanded their comfort zones and shed a few tears of sadness, frustration or stress. They've made a great change in their life and now they are discovering that although it wasn't easy, they did it. They handled everything that came their way and their life is better now. They are stronger than they thought, and now they know they can do anything.
What are you avoiding because of fear? What are you missing out on? What dream are you ignoring because you're afraid you can't do it? What if you can? What if you can handle anything that comes your way? Imagine the extraordinary life you could be living. Are you ready to go for it?
If you are at a turning point in your life and looking for resources check out http://www.reclaimu.com/
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