My Walk Through the Muck

We were talking about walking through the muck. I came up with that phrase a couple years ago when I was doing exactly that. I was going through a difficult, exciting, painful period of growth in my life. It was a time for me to learn a lot about myself and to make some real choices about what I wanted. What I remember most vividly is sitting in a Panera Bread with a good friend (who also happens to be a business partner) and talking through some feelings. I was feeling tired, scared and beaten up. But I remember sitting there and telling her, "I hate this. I'm tired of this, I don't want to do it anymore . . . and I can't go back. I'm going forward, whatever happens."

In that moment I realized that I had changed, and my view of what my life can be had changed so much that I couldn't go back to living the life I had been living. Wow! That sounds really dramatic. What's funny about it is that anyone looking in from the outside wouldn't see any real changes in my life. I wasn't talking about where I lived, who I lived with, selling my business, changing my work or any of the outward, obvious things about my life. I was talking about who I am, how I see the world and how I act and respond in my everyday life. I'm sure my husband can tell you I've changed, and a few close friends, but probably no one else. And yet my world is completely different. And I am incredibly grateful.

I'm telling you this story so you can know a few things. 1.) It really is worth walking through the muck. 2.) It helps to have a friend who will support you, so let someone in on your struggles (but choose someone who will support you and nudge you forward). 3.) Don't assume that a better life has to mean tremendous outward change. A shift inside yourself can bring you the greatest joy.

Today I wish for you the strength and perseverence to walk through the muck and a heart filled with gratitude for every step of the journey.