Physician heal thyself

We've all heard the phrase "physician heal thyself" and it is front and center in my life right now. A few days ago I started feeling out of sorts. Nothing major, but living in a bit of a mental twirl. Then, we found out about a great educational opportunity for our kids which, of course, requires some research and planning on our part. It also has to be done before Christmas. Then we had 2 deaths in our extended families. And in the midst of all of this my leg started hurting terribly, feeling like a pinched nerve. Aaaarrrgghhhh!

This morning, my friend and business partner called me. After asking how I was doing and what my plans were for attending the funeral, then listening to my babbling response, she starts out with the dreaded words, "I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it..." You know you won't like what's coming after an opening like that!

After she reminded me of all the things I help people do; make a decision, do what's best for you and your family rather than what other people expect, work from a place of what's right not out of a sense of guilt, ..... She encouraged me to do that for myself - immediately.

I got off the phone, talked to my daughter about our plans, himmed & hawed, and finally made a difficult decision. Amazingly I felt good. My whole body relaxed and the stress drained away. A little while later, miracle of miracles, I could walk all around the house, even do a little happy dance, on the same leg that wouldn't bear my weight when I woke up.

It's all fascinating and I share this story with you as a reminder that we all need a little help sometimes, and we all get off track. So cut yourself some slack, make the tough choices and get back on track. You'll feel world's better when you do.

ReclaimU Tidbits addressed this from a holiday perspective too. You can read about "Getting It All Done" by clicking here.

A Christmas Sprint

Christmas isn’t a sprint to the finish line. It is called a season because it isn’t all about one day. The greatest joy comes in taking time to prepare for Christmas day in a way that makes things better. This is your chance to spend time with those you love, put thought and love into buying and giving presents, spread joy and happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, I realize this time of year is certainly busy. The question is: Is it meaningful, or is it just busy? Are you spending time creating memories and spreading joy, or are you doing a bunch of stuff because you just think it has to be done? Are you living the meaning of Christmas or racing to finish line so that on Christmas you can lie around, totally exhausted and spent, wondering why you do all this?

Take a deep breath. Look at your expectations and your to do list. Choose the things that really matter, the things that make a difference, and focus on those. See what happens.

I wish you a joy filled holiday season, and a very merry Christmas day.

For specific strategies and tools to use in creating a Heart Filled Holiday check out the articles on my website.

Christmas Countdown

Do you remember being a kid and counting down the days til Christmas? The shear joy, and so much excitement you thought you would explode - that was great! I want you to have the same feelings now, as an adult, even in the midst of all the things you want to accomplish before Christmas arrives.

I’ve posted some holiday articles on my website so take a peak and get some tips for enjoying your Christmas countdown.

Skipping the list

Sometimes it's just plain hard to be entrepreneur, wife, mom and friend! So much to do and sometimes I get caught in the same traps you do, like not sticking to the schedule I made, or not making a plan for my day.

Today is one of those days. So much amazing stuff happening in my businesses, and so much stuff that I'm excited about working on, that it's hard to keep focused and on track. I made a plan, checked it with my business partner and still went running off on tangents. Ah well, today's work is over and tomorrow is another day - and I promise to stick to the to do list!

Now it's "Mom time" so I'm going to go eat dinner. Then, this evening, I get to go build Gingerbread houses with my daughter.

Change begins with possibilities

I watched the movie Freedom Writers this weekend. It's based on a true story of one teacher and the impact she had on a class at Woodrow Wilson High in Long Beach CA. What I realized when I watched this is that she empowered her students to change their own lives, and she started by changing their perspective.

We can only create change for ourselves when we see possibilities. If we are stuck in a box, and can't see anything new or different, we don't have anything to base our dreams on. But when we take the top off the box and peek out, we have the chance to see something new. We have the chance to see what could be.

I encourage you to take an honest look at your life. If there is an aspect you are unhappy with and you say, "that's just the way it is", realize that you are probably in a box. Take the lid off and look around, see what else is possible.

Sometimes we can't take the lid off by ourselves and we need to ask for help. So look around and ask someone to help you. Perhaps it's a person who is living the life you want. Maybe you can ask them to share their perspective with you. Perhaps it's a trusted friend, counselor or mentor. Ask them to share their thoughts with you. Ask what possibilities they see. Then believe that what they share with you could be possible for you.

In the movie, the kids in Erin's classroom were almost all in gangs. Their reality, their world was based on race, protecting your own, and hoping you live through the day. Erin helped them see they are more alike than different. She helped them see that their world is not unique, and that there are other possibilities . . . if you are willing to change.

What's possible for you?

Your Holiday Wake

What’s in your holiday wake? As you go through your days and make all your holiday preparations, what are you leaving in your wake? Do you walk away from a cashier leaving a smile on her face? Did you help that grandmother find the toy she was looking for to give her grandchild? Is your spouse excited about coming home to work with you on preparations?

Take a look at what you are leaving behind you as you go through your days this holiday season. It’s a great way to take stock of our real attitude toward the holidays, and a chance to make some adjustments if we need to.

For specific strategies and tools to use in creating a Heart Filled Holiday check out the articles on my website.

A Christmas Calendar

Yesterday was C day in our house. This is the day we all sit down with our December calendars and plan out our holiday season.

It's an interesting time because it helps me take stock of what I really want. When I'm placing all the traditional preparations, the Christmas parties and the events on my calendar, I get to take this moment and choose what I want my Christmas to look like. This is the time where I really shape my holiday by deciding what I'm willing to spend time on, and what is not going to make it onto my calendar.

Sometimes I have to make tought choices, this year is one of those years. But I also find out exactly when I get to do the things I love. Now I can look forward to my favorite activities and that brings joy to my day.

For specific strategies and tools to use in creating a Heart Filled Holiday check out the articles on my website.

Lessons from the beach - the landscape of change

I went walking on the beach with my husband and our dog. Things are starting to look really different out there; the sand is frozen, most of the birds have left and snow is collecting in the beach grass. Yet, as things on the shore change, the waves keep rolling in. I can still see the sand getting churned up a few feet out from shore.

The whole landscape reminds me of what change is like in our lives. We choose to create change and we expect an instantaneous difference, like flipping a switch. Most of the time what we get is a changing landscape. There are areas of our life that will change in the way they look or function, like the frozen sand. Our priorities will change and things will remain undone and pile up, as the snow piles up in the beach sand. And yet, there is our core, the most important things in our life, the essential parts of us, that remain unchanged as the great lake remains unchanged.

It is a fascinating process to watch change happening on the beach and in my own life. Take a few minutes and appreciate the nuances and the landscape of change in your own life.

A Fowler Christmas

Cool things happening here. My family has put together some fun stuff on the holidays. You can check it all out on our website and you can peek in on our Christmas in the making at our blog. See you there!

25 Days til Christmas

Here we are - 25 days until Christmas! Okay, how did that statement make you feel? Did you get excited? Did you start to stress out or panic?

If it just made you feel good and get excited that Christmas is coming then great! Enjoy your holiday season.

If you started to panic or get stressed out, then read on.

I remember when my husband and I were first married. The first couple Christmases were interesting. We would wait for my annual blow-up, then set up a plan, make some choices and enjoy ourselves. Now I start with the plan and the choices, skip the blow-up, and enjoy my entire holiday season.

One of the keys I've found to keeping the fun in Christmas is making some key choices. Sometimes these are obvious and fairly easy. Sometimes they are difficult, and not a lot of fun. But making the choices gets the painful moment out of the way so that you can enjoy yourself. When you don't choose, you just live in the pain through the whole season, and you don't spread much Christmas cheer on your way.

Last year we were about 2 weeks from Christmas and I started getting stressed. I stopped and thought about what was on my mental to-do list and realized that accomplishing everything on that list meant I would be running every waking moment. I would not have time to cuddle up and read a book with my kids. I would rush through baking cookies and working on presents with my family, and that wasn't okay with me. For me, a huge part of the joy in Christmas is preparing for it with my family. So I just looked at my list, chose a couple of the least important things, and cut them out.

I only sent about a half dozen Christmas cards to a few people who I really wanted to have one, and I didn't put up every Christmas decoration known to man. I didn't clean as much as I usuallly do before putting up the decorations (I do get a little nuts about that and my family was relieved to skip some of it.) and we chose not to put lights on our huge pine tree.

What happened? We had more time to spend on the things that really matter to us. The kids got to help with all the outdoor lights (the pine tree is over 25 feet tall so Dad usually ends up doing those) and the people who didn't get Christmas cards survived. We had more fun, spread more joy to others, and stayed focused on the real meaning of Christmas.

Make this December a joyful and memorable time.

For specific strategies and tools to use in creating a Heart Filled Holiday check out the articles on my website.

Is the snow stopping you?

I was watching my dog in the snow this morning. It's the first snowfall of the year and we got 6 inches, which of course drifts and collects right where the dog goes in the yard. So here he is, barely awake, really needs to relieve himself, and there is snow up to his belly. So what does he do? He walks around a bit, clearing snow by walking through it, then does what he came here to do.

How often does snow pile up in our lives? You've been looking forward to a vacation and something goes wrong. You were really excited about your new business and it was harder than you expected. You very much want this relationship to grow and you find obstacles. That's just snow piling up in our lives. We can choose what we do next.

We can go back inside and hide under the covers, waiting for it to melt.
We can walk through it to get where we want to go.
We can shovel it out of our way.
We can put on snow shoes and walk on top.

What do you really want? What snow is in your yard? What are you going to do with it?

A Simple Thank You

I was reading Soul Proprietor by Jane Pollak and one of her little lessons (Lesson 21) is about saying thank you. She points out that when we downplay someone's compliment to us we are downplaying the person who said it. Think about it for a minute. Imagine you are at the local park. Now you notice something special about someone and you just have to tell them. You walk up to them and give them a compliment. You are standing there, next to them, because you wanted to share something nice with them. They smile at you and say thank you. How do you feel? Pretty good huh?

Now rewind and go back in time. You just saw this person and noticed something special about them. You walk up to them and give them a compliment. Now imagine them laughing it off, or downplaying your compliment. How do you feel? Certainly not as good as you did a few minutes ago. When they reacted negatively it's like you handed them a gift and they just set it aside without even saying thank you.

The next time someone gives you a compliment, accept it for the gift it is. You may even imagine them handing you a beautifully wrapped package. Just smile and say thank you - and know you are giving them a gift in return.

Throwing Out Your To-Do List

I’ve had a few weeks where things have gotten busier and busier. I’ve been using my casual time management techniques but I started to feel rushed. My to-do list was growing both on my computer and in my head. I felt pulled from one idea to another and at the end of the day I never felt like I’d gotten enough done. Ugh! I really don’t like living this way.

I’m grateful that I’ve learned to recognize these feelings because and I know the next step is feeling out of control and I REALLY don’t like that feeling. It starts to feel like I’m on a roller coaster and I do NOT like roller coasters.

Have you ever experience this? Waking up in the morning with your mind in a twirl and not wanting to even start your day? We all have, and what I encourage you to do is to learn to recognize the way you feel as you come to this point. As you learn to identify the feelings involved you can start to identify the problem earlier and earlier in the cycle so you can fix it before you become miserable, or life combusts.

Yesterday morning I made a choice to step it up a notch and use a little more rigorous time management and priority management in my life. Just one little shift on one day and I feel great! I know what’s getting done – and just as important, what’s not getting done. I feel good about what I am accomplishing each day. And best of all it only takes a few minutes to do. Actually I’m spending less time planning now than I was a few days ago and I feel great!

If you would like the details about what I did to shift my feelings just visit http://www.choosemylifenow.com/articles/throwingoutyourtodolist.html and read the article Throwing Out Your To-Do List

Girls' Weekend

I had a great weekend with all my “girls”! I took my daughters and drove across state. We went to visit their friends, my friends, my mom and my grandma. It was a really nice time and I am grateful for such wonderful people in my life. It is a gift to have loving relationships in our lives and I wanted to take a few minutes and just be grateful for the great family and friends who are part of my life.

I am so glad we chose to spend our time in this way. While this wasn’t the original intent, it was rejuvenating. I am grateful for our great “girls only” weekend. What are you thankful for?

PS I'll be posting some photos on Facebook in a couple days. Check 'em out!

Are you part of a "bunch"?

During lunch today my husband asked if the Tidbits ReclaimU sends out are sequencial or just on various topics. When I said various topics my daughter chucked out a comment about sending tips on separating your bananas so they don't ripen as fast (yes, she thought it was funny). What was really funny is where my mind goes from there.

Hmmm. Bananas ripen faster in a bunch. Do people work the same way? Do we achieve success faster in a "bunch"? I think so. Mastermind groups, collaboration, affiliate programs and membership programs are all examples of people achieving more success, or faster success, in a group.

So think about it. Do you have a "bunch"? Do you have a group of people you can turn to who support you? If you don't, I highly recommend finding one. It's a wonderful thing to be part of a "bunch"!

Get Your Key To Happiness

How Gratitude Brings You all the Joy You Can Handle

People ask us why gratitude gets its own section in the ReclaimU Phoenix Center. Great question! Because gratitude is the key to happiness.

Have you ever met someone who was happy who wasn’t grateful for what they have? No way! You can’t be happy if you are grousing and only focusing on what you don’t have. The only way to truly be happy is to have gratitude.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow. ~~Melodie Beattie

You can be happy with nothing, or with everything. You can be happy about reaching a goal, and you can be happy on the way to the goal by having gratitude for what you have and what you’re experiencing.

They say success breeds success, and we say gratitude breeds happiness.

How can you increase your gratitude and get closer to your happiness? There are many things you can do and here is a simple start. Each morning list 3 things you are grateful for. Before you go to sleep at night read what you’ve written in the morning. Let yourself really feel the appreciation you have for those things. Repeat each day for the next week and see what happens.

We invite you to share something you are grateful for at the ReclaimU Thank-fest. As our way of showing gratitude for all of you, we are giving away 5 Phoenix Center memberships to people who join in the Thank-fest at http://www.ReclaimU.com/thankfest.html

Standing on a ledge

Moving past procrastination to reach your dreams

I was reading Gail Goodwin's blog and she had an amazing post called Born to Fly. It was absolutely amazing and got me thinking about how people get stuck.

Are you thinking about changing something in your life? Do you find yourself complaining about someone or something in your life a lot? Have you been waking up wishing things were different? Then you’re probably standing on a ledge.

Think about what it’s like to be on a ledge. It would be uncomfortable, no comfy chairs, no fridge and nothing much to do. It would be scary. Looking out over that drop off the side of a cliff could be awfully scary. You may feel trapped. Being faced with a huge drop off or an impossible climb up the side of a cliff would leave you feeling like you don’t have a choice.

So what do most people do in this situation? They panic, complain or become paralyzed by fear. None of those things will get you off the ledge. So perhaps it’s time to think outside the box.

Have you called for help? Sometimes when we’re stuck it’s because we just don’t have the particular skill to get through a situation. That is the time to call out for help. There are coaches, consultants, friends and mentors who can help – all you have to do is ask.

Are there hand and footholds on that wall that would let you climb up? Take a step back and reassess your situation. Try looking at it from different perspectives, or even asking others to look at it. Sometimes we just need a different perspective to see a way forward.

What if you could fly off that ledge? Have you been building your skills and your confidence? Maybe it’s time to take that leap of faith and believe you can fly.

Whatever your way off the ledge, the key is knowing you can get off and doing something. Sitting around will not get you where you want to be.

Take a careful look at your life. Are you standing on a ledge? Identify it and choose an action you will take to get yourself off the ledge. Whether it is asking for help, finding a new perspective, or taking a leap of faith, do something that moves you forward. You can reach your dreams when you are ready to fly.

Don't get stuck in the "More Loop"

I just read Darren Rowse’s blog post on Twitter. He was answering questions from someone on how to get more followers in Twitter. Basically the person asking advice kept asking how to get more followers, and Darren kept asking why he wanted them and what he wanted to achieve on Twitter.

This made me think about how often we get caught up in the "More Loop". I gotta have more:
• Time
• Money
• Kids
• Clothes
• Respect
• Friends

The list is as long and as varied as there are people on the planet, but my question to you is the same as Darren’s to the Twitter guy – why? What is your purpose with this?

Do you really need more time, or are you spending your time in a way that doesn’t really make you happy?

Do you really need more money? What would you do with it? Would that be enough? Or are you spending money to try to buy your way to happiness?

I see so many people torturing themselves, chasing after "More" of something and believing that if they could just get more ____ then they will be happy.

Whatever it is, you may really want more, and more may really make you happy. But take a few minutes and consider the possibilities. Could you be happy with what you have? If you are asking for expansion, what would you do with it?

When you are clear on your priorities and are being true to them in your life, you will not only be happier now, but you will be happier when you get more. More of what you love will truly make you happier.

See, the guy on Twitter says he wants more people to follow him. But what if he has 12,000 people following him and no one wants to buy from him, do business with him, or build a relationship with him. Do you think he’ll be happy then? No. And what do you think his solution is likely to be? Get more followers. He isn’t focusing on what he really wants and no amount of followers will fix that.

Are you focusing on what you want?

Lessons from the beach - hard packed sand

I'm watching the waves run over the sand it reminds me of the way our lives work. The waves just keep rolling over the sand, washing away all the loose bits. What's left is just the core, the really hard packed base that we can walk on easily.

That's kind of how time and events work in our lives. If we just let the unimportant bits, all the loose sand, wash away, then we are left with the base, the core of who we are. And if we focus on just living in the core then life is easy, like walking on the hard packed sand right at the waters edge. The further we remove ourselves from the tough choices, the things that help us let go of the loose sand, the more loose sand we hang on to and the harder the walk - just like the dry sand at the beach. I'll take the waves!

Lessons from cribbage - facing fear

My husband and I played cribbage last night and he introduced a very small twist into the game. After you deal 6 cards to each player, the deck is cut and the top card turned up. Well, he decided we shouldn't flip that top card over until after we play out the hand and are ready to count our points. No big deal, just a small tweak that doesn't even change play of the game. It shocked me just how much this little thing bothered me. That card nagged at my mind while I was playing my hand and really affected my focus. My husband said he had the same problem when his brother introduced the idea to him last weekend.

Why is this so difficult? Because we are creatures of comfort. We create habits, routines and preferences that make us comfortable. Any little change can really throw us for a loop, and it is our natural impulse to put things "back to normal" as quickly as possible.

Try this. Sit down and fold your hands together in your lap. Which thumb is on top? Now switch. Fold your hands so the opposite thumb is on top. How does that feel? What does it make you want to do? For most people this is really uncomfortable and until you switch back, you can't think of anything else.

Is there any reason for this? Is is safer or better to have a particular thumb on top? Not really. It's just a comfortable habit we created and changing it takes thought and effort.

This is how it is with any change we create in our lives. We have to put thought and effort into it, and it very likely makes us step outside our comfort zone. The bigger the change, the more uncomfortable it is. And if it is large enough, we step over discomfort and into fear.

So how can we move through the fear and create a change we want? One helpful thing is to focus on a positive result you'll get from creating the change. Will you be able to send your kids to college? Will you get to retire early? Will you get to spend more time with someone you love? Whatever the "bonus" is to you - keep your eye on that. Oftentimes when we are thinking about the great rewards we will reap, the fear we are facing starts to look small.

Another way of getting through discomfort and fear is by practicing. We gain confidence when we meet challenges, face fear, and make it through to the other side. I take small opportunities to face fears and "just do it" - even when there is no great benefit. It just shows me I can, builds my confidence, and actually creates the habit of "getting it over with".

My first business helped me overcome the fear of making difficult phone calls. In this business I had to make some really uncomfortable calls. I was having a very hard time even picking up the phone so I made a little tweak. I changed my advertising methods so that the calls came in to me. I found that answering the phone when it rang was easier than picking it up to call someone. After a week or so of fielding phone calls, I started making calls too. I was still scared, it was still hard, but I did it - and I rewarded myself for making the calls (a little chocolate goes a long way!).

What is really interesting to me is that, even today, if I have a scary phone call to make my gut reaction is to pick up the phone and dial. I just want to get through the pain that the fear causes. By making phone calls I discovered that the call is never as bad as the fear. It was the experience that created a habit and built confidence so I could face a similar situation with greater success.

So take the small opportunities for facing fear and build up your confidence. Start with your thumbs and a deck of cards and see how far you can go!

Give-away

I wanted to make sure all of you know that ReclaimU is hosting a "Thank-fest". In gratitude for all the people following along with ReclaimU, we are giving away 5 Phoenix Center memberships. All you have to do to enter the drawing is tell us something you are grateful for at http://www.reclaimU.com/thankfest.html

A lesson in choosing to plan

Before I went to sleep on Monday, I decided what I would do on Tuesday. It's a fairly regular habit of mine and it serves me quite well. This particular Tuesday it was interesting to see what happened.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I had a great idea for a give-away at ReclaimU. I was really excited about it and wanted to implement it immediately. What I forgot to do was to sit down with my to do list and adjust it. So now, in my mind, I had everything on my original to do list PLUS everything I needed to do to create the give-away.

Fortunately for me I had only planned on working a half day so I was able to finish the give-away and part of the other to do list. Unfortunately for me, I missed an amazingly beautiful day. It was 72 degrees and sunny, and likely the last day I'll see like that in Michigan until next May.

Because I didn't stop and take 10 minutes to choose what I would do that day I missed out on a beautiful day. And that actually wouldn't bother me if I had made the decision to work, but I didn't. I just let one thing after another pull on me and it left me a little frustrated - and a little smarter. I guess we all need periodic reminders to make choices about our lives because if we don't we may not be happy with the outcome.

Can you guess what I'm doing as soon as I finish this blog? Yup - creating my to do list for today (and keeping it light - I think I got lucky and have another nice day:)

If you'd like to check out the give-away at ReclaimU just click here.

Lessons from the beach - the scenery

I was walking the shoreline with my family and dog last evening. I've never walked the beach at sunset before. Oh, I've seen sunsets over the water. I've watched them from the pier, or from the city beach, but I've never gone out to walk and watch this. I've really never seen anything like it before. As I looked up the beach toward the light house, the moon was shining bright just above the lighthouse, and there was a planet making an amazingly bright spot in the sky just above the moon. All the colors of the rainbow were painted across the sky, stretching from the lighthouse out to the slightly foggy horizon. Incredible!

It was a magical moment in my life. Not magical in the sense that something amazing happened, or there was a specific moment to remember forever. It was magical in that it brought awe back to me. I guess I had really gotten caught up in the "to do" of my life. Things have been busy with moving, a new homeschool group, and ReclaimU shifting into the next gear. I knew I had taken a step back from some of my usual rituals and routines, but I hadn't realized that my focus had changed.

As we walk the path called life, we are always looking toward something. It's just like walking a trail through the woods, or a sidewalk on the street. You are looking at something, the question is where you decide to put your attention. Are you looking straight ahead, focusing on the furthest point and getting there as quickly as possible? Are you looking down at your feet, making sure you don't stumble? Or perhaps you are looking around you at people or trees, taking in the "scenery" and appreciating the beauty in it. These are all possibilities and normally I do a bit of each, spending the most time looking at nature all around me. Regularly I'll look ahead to make sure I'm still heading in the direction I want to go, and periodically I glance down to make sure I don't trip over a big root or bump.

My time at the beach that evening showed me I had gotten caught up in charging straight ahead and looking down for things that could trip me up; I had forgotten to look around and truly enjoy the beauty surrounding me.

Turning a negative positive - even with death

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine. I was checking to see how her daughter was doing. Her daughter had an incredible teacher who was a mentor and a friend, and he died yesterday. As expected, the girl was really upset when she found out. What was incredible is that when she got home in the evening she was okay. When her mom asked what happened she said she spoke with a friend who helped her look at it differently. While the fact that he died is painful and she is sad over that, she can remember the positive impact he had on the world. So she has decided to do what she can to impact people’s lives in a positive way just like her teacher impacted hers. Knowing this girl, I have no doubt that she will impact thousands of lives. Has she impacted yours already? I know she impacted mine.

Cows are good!

I wrote a blog this morning about turning a negative into a positive Illumination and then I saw another great story I had to share with you. Kathryn Webber had this in her newsletter and it is perfect!

That's me there with my 2,000 pound puppy. (There is a picture of Katie standing by a cow.) We've had cows next to us ever since we moved into this house and love seeing their gentle grazing as we go about our day. Our neighbor used to have a big white bull who was gentle and sweet but replaced him with a newer, more amorous fellow.

When this new guy came, he made sure everyone knew he was top dog, er, bull. He'd storm over and snort and paw at the ground to let us know we got too close to the fence. Today is different. He comes running now but in a happy jaunt. That's because he's gotten used to our apples, watermelon and carrots that he's been the recipient of over the past few years. Now he's sweet and, well, spoiled. Maybe you have had some situation that was negative and turned it into a positive?

Another story about turning negatives into positives. What's your story? Post a comment or send it to me at Sandy@sandyfowler.com

Illumination

I woke up this morning and went about my usual routine. When I finished showering and went to plug in my hair dryer it made me smile. We moved into a new house about 6 weeks ago. To make things a little easier I put a night light in the bathroom so the kids could see where they were going at night. They decided they liked it so they kept it after we got comfortable.

The house is a fifties ranch so of course there is only one outlet in the bathroom, and the plug for my hairdryer can only go in right side up; that isn't possible when the night light is plugged in right side up. One morning a couple weeks ago, I found the night light plugged in right side up. I turned it up side down and plugged it back in so that I could plug in my hair dryer. After doing this for 3 or 4 days I talked to my kids and explained why we were having "light wars" thinking that it was very logical and straight-forward and they would leave the light alone. No, logic has nothing to do with this. For some reason, one of my girls just has to have that light right side up.

I spent the next week getting annoyed every time I had to play this switching game because it made no sense to me, and there was a simple solution if everyone would just cooperate. Then one morning, as I flipped the light, I thought about my daughter and smiled. So the next morning I tried it again. As I flipped the light I thought about how much I love my daughter, and I smiled. Now I do this every morning. It has created a bright spot in my morning. No matter how busy I am, or what is happening, it is a happy moment and it makes me smile. It was a small choice that shifted the direction of my mornings from one of irriation to appreciation.

Procrastination or Celebration? A story of choice

When I was in elementary school I had to walk home from school. It was a little more than a mile which wasn’t too bad, but there was a catch. The catch was that half way home I could see my house, it was just on the other side of a creek. If I could cross the creek then I could cut ½ mile off my walk. This was great – when I was allowed to cross the creek.

There were times where my parents told me I was not allowed to cross the creek, like after a big rain. I, on the other hand, being so much smarter than my parents, knew that I could cross anyway. One day when I was walking home with my friend, after one of those rain storms, we decided to cross in spite of our parents’ instructions. Did you know that if you step in mud that is a foot deep your boots will get stuck and you can’t pull them out? Well, it’s true. Yes, I got stuck. I can still remember standing there with my feet firmly planted in the mud, wondering if I would ever get out. Fortunately I had a pair of shoes with me so I slipped out of my boots, climbed back up to the sidewalk and walked home.

When I got home I went to the back door and walked straight downstairs so I could wash all the mud off before my mother saw me. This is nothing but procrastination. Eventually I had to tell my mom I don’t have a pair of boots – I was just avoiding it.

This is the first time I remember procrastinating on something, but not the last. I saw procrastination rear it’s ugly head periodically in my life. It wasn’t that I didn’t do things, just that I didn’t do certain things. Every once in a while something would pop up that I needed to do, but I really didn’t want to, so it would fall to the bottom of my to-do list. Of course the thing on the bottom of the to-do list never gets done that day so it would be on my list tomorrow. Again, it would fall to the bottom of the list, not get done – rinse and repeat.

After several days the problem compounded. Not only was this a task I didn’t want to do, now I was embarrassed about how late it was. At this point, many things just got trashed and never happened, or I had to suffer the embarrassment of being really late. Either way it wasn’t fun and it would ruin days, or even weeks, of my life.

The solution? Do the most uncomfortable thing first. I have changed my tack and when I look at my day I choose to do the most uncomfortable thing first. This way, not only is it done, I feel really good about myself for doing it. It adds a boost to my self-confidence and energy to my day.

What’s on your list today? Go ahead – do the icky thing and enjoy the great feelings it brings.

And yes, I did get my boots back. My father managed to get them out of the mud and I spent my evening washing the mud off of, and out of, my boots – yuck!

What do you choose to be?

My in-laws regale us with family stories and one of my favorite "characters" is my father-in-law's mother. I never had the good fortune of meeting her and I'm sorry that is the case since she sounds like a wonderful lady, and one I would have enjoyed very much.

Apparently she was a tiny woman with a great attitude and a wonderful sense of humor. She was bright and fun, and the absolute last person you would ever cross. While my husband and his 3 brothers adored her, they never dared step out of line. When questioned about her strength and her ability to run a benevolent dictatorship with all these boys running around she shared a story from her childhood. She had 2 older brothers and when she was about 8 she had a decision to make; she could either be the "pick-ee" or the "pick-er" and she chose to be the "pick-er". And she never looked back.

It makes me think about the choices I make. Who am I choosing to be? Am I taking control and making choices that shape my life or am I allowing circumstances (like 2 older brothers) determine my life? I think I'll take a page from this marvelous lady's book and choose for myself.

For dog lovers only

Lying under my toasty down comfortor, chatting with my husband on Saturday morning, we decided to take the dog down to the beach for some excercise. It sounds lovely, a nice leisurely stroll on the beach, wind blowing in my hair, holding hands with my hubby and the dog running near by.

We get dressed and send the dog into orbit by telling him we're going. My husband puts the dog in the truck and comes back into the house offering to loan me a hat because it's raining. RAINING! It can't be raining. Remember when I said I was snuggled up under my down comforter? It's about 40 degrees outside and, while I enjoy a nice walk in the rain, 40 degrees is not my idea of a great time to walk in the rain. However, we told the dog we were going and, quite frankly, he will make us crazy if we don't.

Do we go to the beach and get cold and wet, or do we live with a very annoyed and highly energetic dog?

I guess we can always come home to a hot shower and a cup of tea. It's off to the beach for us.

Luck was with us, we were rewarded for our brave decision, and the rain stopped by the time we drove to our favorite section of dog beach. It was a great time to walk. The wind was up, the waves were rolling in and the sky was layered in amazing clouds in a million shades of gray. We had a marvelous time walking, and of course hauling around the full plastic bag which seems to accompany any good outing with a dog.

The waves caught me off guard. As I walked just above the high water mark, an overly exhuberant wave stretched a few extra feet and soaked my hiking shoes. We laughed and went on, and I moved higher up the beach even as I kept a wary eye on the playing waves. I'm glad I kept an eye on the waves because I got some more good laughs the next 3 times my husband got soaked. Even the dog (he only saw his first wave a month ago when we moved near Lake Michigan and he still approached the water infrequently and with great suspicion) got his feet wet once with a rogue wave that hopped an extra 5 feet up the beach as we ended our walk.

When we reached the end of our walk we were still enjoying the time outdoors and sat down on a short break wall to watch the water and feel the breeze a little longer. I was happy because it was a beautiful day and not only could I enjoy it a little while longer, I got to do it without holding a plastic doggie bag as I could just set it in the sand. As we sat there, watching, we should have known better. We were just watching, a few feet beyond the high water mark when another rogue wave soaked us from mid thign down. We were laughing at the moment, right up until we saw a little plastic bag floating in the water. My husband looked at me and said, "I suppose you expect me to go get that?" Before I nodded my head a few thoughts flitted through my mind. First, is it environmentally friendly to let a biodegradable plastic bag of dog poop float around in the lake? Then I envisioned some little kid finding it as he played at the beach. Not good. So I nodded yes and grinned as my knight in shining armor saved me from yet another foot soaking as he raced into the edges of the lake, racing the waves to retrieve a plastic bag of dog poop.

Some choices change our lives and others just give us stories that amuse other people.

Baby Steps

Have you ever really watched a baby learning to walk? Do they look around one day, stand up and walk? No. They practice balancing and pushing up. Then they hold onto some support while they practice moving their feet and legs. They fall down a lot, and the people around them applaud and cheer each attempt and each tiny success. We watch them, encourage them, hold out our hands and hold them up.

When you create change in your life, when you choose to do something new, remember the baby. Learn one step at a time and surround yourself with people who will cheer you on and hold you up until you can do it on your own. If you are looking for a place with support and tools that you can use as you walk this new path then visit ReclaimU.

Lessons on fear from the world of potty training

I was in the ladies room at Panera Bread today and heard a mom talking to her little girl. The girl was afraid to use those big huge toilets. (Can you blame her? Can you imagine crawling up on a toilet that is as high as your rib cage? Scares me!)Anyhow, the little girl looked at her choices - 1.) use a HUGE toilet 2.)wet her pants - then listened to her mother's encouragement and chose to go for it. She gathered up her courage and used the big pottie!

Now we can easily sit here and say it was no big deal and there wasn't anything to be afraid of, and we are right. Here's the kicker though, the same thing is true for 95% of our own fears. Think about it. What are you afraid to do? You know there's something. There is something you can do that would move you forward, closer to a goal or dream, and you don't do it because you're afraid.

Are you afraid to ask for help? Afraid to make a phone call? Afraid to change jobs? Afraid to move? Afraid of sharing your talents?

I understand because I have my own fears. And our fears feel just as real, but are just as unfounded as the little girl's fear of the potty. So I'm going to take some inspiration from this little girl and face one of my fears today. I guess that means I have to go because I have a phone call to make. Good luck with your potty!

The Key to Failure

The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those, which fail. -- Napoleon Hill

I like this quote because failure is part of success. In order to succeed in anything there will first be failure, and that is something to be grateful for. Failure teaches us what works and what doesn't. It shows us the strengths and weaknesses of our plans. It is our guiding hand - IF we are willing to learn from it and create new plans.

So what are you creating? Have you experienced failure? If you did...
1.) Take a moment and be grateful for the failure.
2.) Find the lessons in it
3.) Develop a new plan.
4.) Repeat.

I wish you great success, and a great appreciation for the failure that gets you there.

A Simple Smile

Yesterday was a good day - and my brain was fried by the time I was finished with my work. I decided to go uptown and walk around the shops and maybe head down to the lake to watch the waves. On my way I saw a couple, probably in their seventies, walking hand-in-hand and just smiling.

The sight of them really struck me and I couldn't look away. They looked so perfectly content and happy. They had these wonderful small smiles on their faces; smiles of contentment that just stayed there. It wasn't fleeting. It wasn't becaause of something they saw or something one of them said. It was a part of them and their relationship, and the joy they took in the simple act of walking down the street holding hands.

I'm going to take the inspiration I got from them and be sure to enjoy my family today. Just spend time being and letting myself be happy in the moment. I encourage you to create more happiness in your life and spend some time with people you enjoy.

Three Years from Now

I was reading the latest "Book Bites" from Lynne Klippel and she had a great quote in there.

"Wait three years and every disaster turns into a blessing." -- Old Buddhist saying.

I love this! It is so true. While we look back on painful times in our lives we often say, "It was tough but I'm glad I went through it". Right now our economy is tough for many people, but you can turn that around.

Take a moment to think ahead. Three years from now where will you be? What will you be doing? Go ahead, envision yourself there. See yourself living the way you want to live. Use all your senses to see, hear, touch, taste and smell your new life.

Now let the current financial disaster turn into a blessing for you. Use this upheaval to rethink your life and find the path to what you want.

Go for it!!

Fun at Work

Last week I talked about having fun and guess what? Just thinking about more fun has brought it into my life, even at work. I have been playing with Social Networking this week and it is great! Yes, I was surprised that it was so much fun. I thought about doing this before but the idea just seemed overwhelming. Well, Melissa Ward changed that! I listed to her interview on ReclaimU Radio and it got me excited about Social Networking so I decided to give it a go - and I loved it.

So if you're looking for a way to have fun while furthering your career give it a go!

Give the Candidates a Break

With the elections coming up here in the States we are swamped with political information, opinions and slams everywhere we turn. Whether it is the newspaper, our neighbor or talk at the local restaurant, I hear a lot of people trying to figure out who will make their life better.

The president will certainly affect the country. And whatever your thoughts on either candidate, or their ability to lead, shape and change this country's future, remember this: They are not responsible for your personal happiness. They are not able to make you happy. Only you can do that.

The country can experience great prosperity and you can be happy or miserable.
The country can experience a great depression and you can be happy or miserable.

So during this history making election, I encourage you to excercise your right to vote. I also encourage you to excercise your right to "the pursuit of happiness". Go ahead, take the reins of your life and be happy - regardless of what is happening around you.

Give the candidates a break, don't hold them responsible for your happiness. Make choices that make your life better and move you forward. Then enjoy the journey and be happy!

Puddle Jumping

Did you jump in puddles when you were a kid? I still remember going out after a good rain and playing in the puddles; digging around with a stick to create mud, jumping over them, and of course, jumping in them. The best puddles were at camp because they were under the swings. You could swing and run your feet through the puddles to create a great splash and, if you were really lucky, soak a friend. It was fun - simple fun.

So the obvious question is, "What do you do for fun now?" When is the last time you let yourself have fun? Have you laughed today? Did you tell a great joke recently? What sounds like fun right now?

If you've read my book then you know I'm a big believer in not only having fun, but putting blocks of time in your calendar to make sure you have the opportunity. So today I encourage you to do something fun, simple and fun. Just enjoy yourself, do something that brings a smile to your face.

Have a puddle jumping day!

Economic Meltdown is Your Opportunity

Everywhere you look, listen, or read all you hear is economic meltdown. Let’s face it, the media makes money off your emotions – when they trigger strong emotions you watch their broadcast, buy their paper or purchase their magazine. It is in their best interest to stir up your emotions. The question is, “What are you going to do about it?”

Are going to join in the moaning and hide your head under the covers? Are you going to let fear paralyze you? Are you going to point the finger at politicians and hope that a new president means a new economy? Or....are you going to let this be an opportunity to create change in your life?

You have a choice here. You can do what you’ve always done and hope you survive; or you can create your own change. Look around you, see what’s happening and realize that this chaos will settle back down. Chances are that when the dust settles things will look different.

If you are ready to do something new then the question is how can you be part of that? Do you want to start a business? Do you want to get a new job, change industries? What do you want your life to look like? This is your chance to get, do and be what you want.

I encourage you to be brave, explore the possibilities and get excited about a new direction.

Just Do It

Interesting day yesterday. I woke up in an a bit of a mood and spent the first part of the morning thinking about what was bothering me. I'm not one to shirk feelings, and I also don't like to spend my entire life sorting through them, so I was trying to figure out what the "real" problem was. I couldn't figure it out; my thoughts just kept getting round to different things that were irritating me.

I tried changing my thinking to gratitude and positive thoughts. That didn't stick. I just kept getting thoughts of what was annoying me.

Nothing seemed to be working.

Then I got a call from a good friend who I haven't connected with in a while. We chatted for a bit and when I got off the phone I noticed that I felt a little better. Since I hadn't identified a real problem I decided to get rid of this mood with action. I just started doing things.

At first I couldn't focus well and wasn't being very productive. But I kept going and as I got more productive I found I felt better. I kept going until 9:30 that night and by the time I was done I was tired, but I felt better; and this morning I woke up feeling great!

I guess the Nike slogan - just do it - is good for getting rid of the blahs. When you are in a bad mood but can't identify a root cause just get productive. Doing something will make you feel good about yourself and it just might push you out of that rotten mood.

You always have a choice

You always have a choice. That's what my dad always said to me growing up. Whenever I would balk about something and complain he would counter with, "You always have a choice". I hated hearing that, just as I'm sure you won't like it either when I say it to you when you are facing a difficult situation - "You always have a choice!"

I know there are times when we all feel cornered and we end up doing things we don't like. During those times we often mumble about being forced into it or not having a choice. The truth is that you do. It is just that the other options were things you immediately dismissed and the unpleasant thing you find yourself doing was the most acceptable choice in that situation.

Why does this matter? Because when you realize that you are choosing to do the thing you are doing, when you acknowledge the control you have, it actually helps. You start to see choices where you thought you had none. You feel better about doing things you don't particularly like because you see it as something you are choosing to do and you can compare it to doing something you truly don't want, or aren't willing to do.

Taking this to the extreme is a saint. Maximilian Kolbe was in Auschwitz when 10 men were chosen to starve to death in order to make a point. One of the men had a family and was lamenting what would happen to them. Most of us would feel horrible but helpless in this situation. After all, what could we possibly do? We aren't in charge. Maximilian Kolbe realized he had a choice, he volunteered to take the man's place.

Thankfully we are not making that kind of a choice, but we do have difficult choices in our lives. Do you let your adult child move back home? Do you move your parent to a nursing home? Do you stay in a job you hate?

There isn't a right or a wrong choice here. There is only creating the life you want. Realizing that you are creating it can help you enjoy it. Imagine these two scenarios. In the first scenario your family has come to the realization that your elderly parent cannot live alone. Perhaps you don't relish the idea of having them live with you and you are miserable and angry about the change in your life. You feel trapped and unhappy. You lament about how unfair it is and how your life has changed. In the second scenario you have the same situation but you evaluated all your options and you chose to have your parent live with you. You feel this is the best option for everyone involved, and while it isn't always easy you feel this is the right thing. See a difference?

The difference is in the outlook. It is in the way you feel about your decision. Do you feel trapped and pushed or in control and making the best choices for you? It doesn't mean things will always be easy - it does mean you can feel better about them by changing your attitude. They say attitude is everything and it can certainly make a huge impact in the way you feel about your choices.

You always have a choice - what do you choose?

More on inspiration

Do you remember the old waffle soles on athletic shoes? Do you know where the inspiration for that ideas came from? Yes, a waffle iron. The man who created the first tennis shoes with that kind of traction came up with the idea when he was spending time with his wife making breakfast.

Inspiration is around every corner. Live your life with your eyes wide open!

101 Wishes

I am reading The Aladdin Factor and it takes you into an excercise where you make a list of 101 wishes for your life. I started the excercise yesterday and it is fascinating to see what happens in your mind as you do this. It's pretty easy to make a list of 10 or 20 wishes, but eventually you hit a point where you have to start expanding your vision or detailing the wishes you've mentioned. You learn to allow yourself to dream more.

I found myself really coming out of my box and starting to think about my life differently. I highly recommed doing this excercise. It may take several hours or several days, but it will help you shift your mindset and bring out some exciting prospects.

101 Wishes - What do you want in your life?

Inspiration Awaits

I was asked to consider this quote,
"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." -- Jack London, Author

My first thoughts are - absolutely! As an entrepreneur and author I have found that to be absolutely true. When I sit back, pulling in on myself and focusing in on my own small world, I find no inspiration. But when I open up and go out into the world I find bucketfuls of inspiration.

Reading a book always gives me something new to think about. Whether it's the lives of characters in a beach book or the program laid out by a self-improvement expert, there is something to learn and consider in everything I read.

Going out and talking to people always inspires me. Sometimes I find an person with an incredible story. Other times it's the smiles of many passers-by. Still others it's the interaction of the dogs at the dog park. Being out in the world always opens my eyes.

So yes, Jack London, I agree with you whole heartedly. Those who sit and wait for inspiration to come upon them will have a very long wait. Those who go out and experience life will find it around every corner.

Do you need inspiration? What can you do to find it today?

Do you peel your banana from the bottom?

My mother-in-law gave me a compilation of everyday tips. Things like using a dryer sheet in your pocket instead of insect repellent. One of those tips was to peel your banana from the bottom. Apparently when you do this you don't get those annoying little strings. For whatever reason, that caught my attention and stayed with me. . . peel your banana from the bottom.

Then I started thinking, "What other little things am I living with that I don't like?" We all do it. We experience something we don't like, but we live with it because it's just a little thing. We don't even put forth any effort to think of alternatives.

Are you tripping over shoes every time you walk in the door? Could you put up a shoe rack?
Do you work at home and find yourself dealing with phone calls at all hours? Could you turn off the ringer or unplug the phone "after business hours"?

We aren't talking about monumental plans here, just small things that can make a small difference. If we can peel a banana from the bottom I'm certain we can make other small choices in our lives that make them a little bit nicer. Let me know what you do - I'd love to hear about it!

Doing it Right!

WooHoo! Some scientific evidence to support my lifestyle! I love this article http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/28/technology/28proto.html?_r=2&th&emc=th&oref=slogin&oref=slogin because it gives me confirmation that the changes in my sleeping habits make sense (so I can send all of my right brained engineer relatives to this site and someone else can explain why I do what I do).

Ever since I made the choice to listen to my intuition, write my books, build www.ReclaimU.com and generally change my life, I have been going to bed early. Really early, often times before my children. While my husband and kids are supportive of my doing this, I also take a lot of flack from several fronts. I have chosen to stand my ground and ignore their comments because even if I couldn't explain why, I knew this worked for me.

See, when I go to bed early then I get a full night's sleep and still wake up early. So, as the artilce points out, my brain has time to process, make connections, and be creative. Then, when I am up at 4 or 5am, everyone else is asleep and I have a quiet space to work with all the new ideas before the world's distractions sabotage all my good intentions and great ideas.

While I know I don't need justification for the choices I make in my life - and I have no problem living my life my way - once in a while it is really nice to get a little extra support. Thanks New York Times!

Thoughts on Moving

Whew! It's over. We are moved in, unpacked and resuming a "normal" life. It feels great to have the house set up and only a half dozen boxes left to unpack . We are all excited about creating our new life in a new town. And, surprisingly, I will actually miss the moving process a little bit.

I know I got really tired of packing boxes, and we didn't enjoy having boxes stacked up all around the new house. However, I do love the clean, fresh feeling of moving. We spent months paring down, clearing out and getting rid of things we don't need or don't use. We spent 2 days cleaning the new house from top to bottom. And it all feels great. That light, fresh feeling of traveling light (well, as light as you can when you have 2 kids, 2 guinea pigs and a dog). That's the feeling I like about moving. It just gets rid of a lot of stagnant energy and unused stuff and allows room for new, exciting things.

It feels so great I'm recommending it to you. While I'm guessing you probably aren't ready to pick up and move, you can clear out the clutter in your life and allow room for fresh air and new opportunities. Whether it's a closet, a room, your office or your calendar, I highly recommend setting aside a little time to clear it out. Then notice what happens in your life. See what changes and what new things come into your life. Keep me posted and I'll keep you posted on mine.

Staying on track after vacation

I talked yesterday about being in a twirl when I went back to work after a week off. I realized there were a couple things which contributed to this twirl in the first place. One of them was the fact that I had no plan for work when I came back from vacation. Several years ago I learned a great trick for the first day back after vacation - plan it before you leave on vacation. This helps me avoid that "first day back confusion". Having an action plan for the day lets me jump right back into things without wasting a lot of time thinking about where I was and what comes next.

Try next time you're taking a vacation, or even plan Monday before you leave on Friday. It's a great way to stay on track and keep your momentum going.

Getting out of the mental twirl

I'm back at work today after a week off to go house hunting. We are in the beginnining stages of moving my family across the state and I ended up taking last week off unexpectedly. We had a great week and found a wonderful house just 2 miles from the beach. Everyone is excited about moving, in fact the kids started packing up their bedrooms this weekend without being asked! WooHoo!

Now it's Monday morning and I find myself back at work and frustrated. When I woke up this morning I was lying in bed thinking about my day and found myself in a twirl when I thought about work. I wasn't clear on what I wanted to do today, and I realized that most of my thoughts were steeped in frustration about what wasn't working.

When I saw the twirl I decided to stop it with my favorite tool - action. Instead of rolling around in those thoughts, or worse yet, descending further into frustration or anger, I took some simple action. I new I had to work on my websites today so I pulled out my computer and went on-line. It is facinating how things work. That simple step of going on-line took me to an inspirational website I like. This reminded me that I was going to apply to be on this site. That reminded me I was going to contact some other business owners about offering our book club to their clients. That reminded me..... You get the idea. Taking one simple step pulled me out of the twirl in my mind and got me back on a productive track.

Facing fear

Well, we did it. We made the decision and we're moving. It's funny because the idea of moving has never been an issue for me, or my husband. In fact, we lived in 4 homes and 2 countries in the first seven years of our marriage. 11 years and 2 kids later we are still in that 4th house and I think it's going to take a giant crow bar to get us out!

It's funny how settled we can get and how our comfort zones can trap us. We've wanted to move across state for years but have never been able to see how we could do it. Even now it's easy to throw up roadblocks and give all the reasons not to go. In fact, when the family sat down to discuss this what we discovered was all the reasons not to go boil down to one thing - fear. When I realized that fear was the roadblock I knew we had to go because I refuse to live my life from a place of fear. If fear is the only thing stopping me then it's time to look fear in the face and laugh.





As soon as I faced the fear and took some action it's funny how fast the fear disappeared. All it took was a few moments of courage and a little action and now we all see it as a great adventure.

Tweaking plans

I've been watching my husband with fascination. He is a runner and he is preparing for a big race, 50 miles over trails and through rivers. Yes, that's right 50 miles and I did say "through" rivers not over rivers. He's a little crazy but I love him anyway.

He's run this race before so he knows exactly what he's getting into. The catch is he decided to run it only 6 weeks before the race. This is something you would spend months training for, not weeks. Being a running coach he set up a training plan for himself and this is what's I am fascinated to watch.

He keeps tweaking the plan.

Yup, lots of tweaking going on. So the question is: Is that good or bad? Answer: It's brilliant! He set his goal, outlined a plan and he's making adjustments to the plan as he goes along. He isn't changing his goal, just the techniques for reaching it. And he isn't making his decisions based on a painful moment, he doesn't quit a training run after 12 miles or after 2o miles because it hurts. If he can't run he walks because he knows the ultimate goal is time on his feet. In between runs he looks at what he accomplished and what's coming up in the training schedule - then he tweaks the workouts based on his ultimate goal. Sometimes he trades a long run for some speed work on the track. Sometimes he ditches a long run because he ran long yesterday and has another important long run coming up. Everything is designed to help him reach the finish line on race day. Nothing else matters in the interim; no ego, no rigid structure, just doing what it takes day-by-day to reach the goal.

The race is September 6th. The kids and I are crewing for him (meeting him along the way with dry shoes, water and food) so I'll see what happens and I'll know the truth with all the gory details so I can share it with you.

Fishbowls

You are living in a fish bowl. Did you know that? I'm sure sometimes you feel like everyone is watching you, but that isn't what I'm talking about. Your fishbowl is the size of your world. It's how many people you help, work with, interact with as you live your life. The more people involved in your life the bigger your bowl. So how big is your bowl? Are you happy with that, or are you looking to improve your life?

Do you know what happens when a fish is put in a bigger fishbowl? It grows. The fish grows according to the space they are living in. The bigger the bowl the bigger the fish. So if the answer to the questions at the end of the first paragraph is no, and yes, then how can you improve your life? By finding a way to improve other lives. It's simple, helping others helps you. The more "others" you help the bigger your bowl and the more room there is for you to grow. Who can you help today?

The Power of Pressure

Have you ever thought about pressure being a good thing? Really - think about it. It's pressure that creates diamonds. Couldn't it do the same thing for us? Could we harness the pressure in our lives and use it to create an extraordinary life?

If you want to find out more you can read an article on this at my website http://www.ChooseMyLifeNow.com/articles.html

What does my extraordinary life look like?

Here's an interesting question posed to me: "What if I don't know what my extraordinary life looks like? I don't know what I want; I just don't like the life I have. What do I do?"

Interesting question. People assume that you know what you want your life to be. My experience is, more often than not, that isn't true. Most people either don't know, or they create an idea in their head that is more about relieving stresses they feel than really creating a fulfilling, joyful and satisfying life.

So what can you do, how can you know what you want? The answer has 2 parts.

First, it doesn't matter if you know what you want your extraordinary life to look like. All that matters is that you know you want something more and you are willing to do something different to get there.

Second, you can get ideas about what you want by starting with an inspiration board. Just grab something to which you can attach pictures or bits and pieces of bric-a-brac. A bulletin board is great and a poster board, particle board or even a slab of pressed paper will do nicely. Then start attaching things that appeal to you. Cut out pictures from magazines, bits of fabric, a story, a photo, a piece of beach glass, a bag of sand, anything that calls to you, makes you feel good. If you love to run, attach a photo of yourself running or an old shoe lace, anything that lets you think of running when you look at it.

Keep adding to your board whenever you find a treasure. Then spend some time just looking at your board. Relax and let yourself feel good as you see yourself doing or enjoying the things on your inspiration board. Allow you mind to relax and wander, and let yourself see the possibilities for happiness. Let yourself see the things you like to do and the things that really make you feel good. Those are the things that will be part of your extraordinary life. Those are the activities to make time for. Those are the people to spend time with. Those are the things to have around you or the places to spend time in.

As you look at your inspiration board, you will see many things that give you joy. By focusing your time and energy on these things you will bring more joy in to your life. You will begin to create an extraordinary life, one that is fun, fulfilling and uniquely yours.

Do Something Different

To really win BIG you've got to do something different. That's what the guru in one of my newsletters was saying, and it got me thinking. That's exactly what has to happen in our life to really make it extraordinary. Think about it. If you aren't living an extraordinary life, how could it possibly become extraordinary if you don't do something different?

So today I challenge us all to do something different. Take a step out of your comfort zone and make a change that will lead you one step closer to your extraordinary life.

Rough Seas

Do you feel like you're riding out a hurricane in a small boat in the ocean? Sometimes our life feels that way. Maybe you were living your life like you always have but things around you began to change. Perhaps you created change yourself. Then, one thing leads to another, which creates more change and that leads to something else and suddenly you feel like there are 10 foot waves crashing all around you. However it begins, whether the change is intentioned or not, you can feel caught up in a very scary storm.

When I find myself in the midst of something scary like that I work on 2 things:
1) being peaceful and calm
2) taking action!!

Keeping some semblance of peace helps me slow down enough to take a good look around when I reach the top of a wave. Even though the waves are big and scary, they also give me a great vantage point. When I reach the top I can see a long way. From here I can see new options and new possibilities.

Taking action moves me out of the storm. The only way to get out of this thing is to move forward. So the key here is to not let fear stop me, just keep moving.

Your life can be amazing, it can be an exciting adventure. Just remember that these moments can be part of the adventure. So take a deep breath, look around for possibilities and take action!

Celebration Time!

It's been a while since I talked about this and it is definitely time. Let's start by answering a couple questions. Have you done something lately that was good? Did you follow-up on a difficult task? Have you made improvements in a behavior? Were you nice and positive in the face of adversity (otherwise known as irritating or depressing people)? Is you self talk sounding better?

If you're answering yes to any of these questions, or have made any forward progress in any area of your life, then it's time to celebrate! Yes, you can. You do deserve it and it is good for you so go for it. Do a happy dance, eat a piece of chocolate, play a game of golf, get a massage, go to a movie. Whatever it is, large or small, enjoy a moment of success. Let yourself feel good about your progress. Tell yourself you did a great job and give yourself a pat on the back. Have fun, enjoy the moment and send me your celebration stories - I love to hear about people having fun.

Your Launching Point

Where you are right now is just a launching point for your life. Whatever reality you are living in this minute, the things you have done and learned up until now, are all just a small piece of your life. And they don't determine the rest of it, unless you choose to make it that way.

If you look around and see possibilities then those possibilities can define your life. If you look around and see limitations, then the limitations will define your life.

We all love to hear stories of the underdog - people who won out in spite of things being stacked against them. Well I believe that they didn't spend their time looking at what was against them. The took inventory of their strenghts, they saw a positive outcome and, while keeping those things in front of them, they went for it.

You can do the same thing. Start today by envisioning what you want your life to be like. Then take an inventory of your strenghts. Then take some action. Think about this new vision for your life each day and continue taking action, using your strenghts, to move in the direction of those dreams.

Memorable Moments

What do you remember about yesterday? Is there a moment or an event that comes to mind? Did you do something you like to remember? I'm guessing that most people would answer that question with, "I don't know." or "Same old things." If you are one of them then you have some work to do on creating your extraordinary life.

The things we remember don't have to be monumental, nor does our entire day need to be noteworthy. But if days keep rolling by with nothing happening worth remembering then we probably aren't creating our extraordinary life.

My memories from yesterday are going on a couple errands and creating an advertising coupon for ReclaimU.com. Yes, I said errands. The whole family piled in the car and rode out to Tractor Supply. I grew up in the suburbs and didn't even know about Tractor Supply so my girls were thrilled to show it to me (they fell in love with the store when they realized they could buy the horse models they love and they could buy tack and treats for real horses too). It was one of those simple moments in life that are worth remembering because we were just enjoying being together as a family.

And yes, I said creating a coupon. Why do I remember this? Because I was having fun and I was so excited about ReclaimU and what is happening there. This time was great because I was enjoying my work so much.

Your memorable days and memorable moments don't have to be major. They don't have to be newsworthy, but they do have to be memorable to you. Whether it's some time spent talking to an old friend, a view you saw on the way home from work or having your business featured on the news, big or small, create your extraordinary life one memorable moment at a time.

Taking Action When Things are Tough

We all run into times where we end up in a slump. Something in our life is difficult, sad, or frustrating. When this happens most people tend to slow down and focus on the hard thing in their life. Their life revolves more and more around the difficult aspect and their world shrinks. The next thing you know you feel miserable most of the time.

When you see this happening the solution is usually action. Taking some action to get you moving forward. The action may or may not be directly related to the hard thing in your life. The action may be to take time to sort things out and reflect. It may be taking the time to grieve a loss. And it may be excercise or working on your dreams. But if you are having a difficult time in your marriage, and you set aside time to work on your hobby or your dream, you will start to feel better. You feel better about yourself and you feel better about your life. Soon you can start to see that there is still sunshine in your life, even if there are clouds.

The really great thing about this is that as you start to feel better about yourself it will spill over to other areas of your life too. Then maybe you can take some action where the hard thing is concerned.

Sometimes it Hurts

Yes, even when things are going well and moving in the direction we want, it can still hurt. A really good friend of mine is moving today. In fact, as I write this, her family is piling into the minivan with their 2 cats and all their luggage to make a 4 day drive to their new home. We've been friends for over 20 years and she knows everything there is to know about me. She knows the good and the bad. She's laughed with me and cried with me. She's believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself, and she brings out the best in me. And while our friendship is not a stranger to a telephone since the better part of 17 years of it has been via telephone, I know I'll miss seeing her, making smoothie runs, and chatting face-to-face. I know this move is important and is right for her family. I know it is a good area for her to live in. I know it is a key factor in her husband following his dreams. I know it will be good for our business (she is also my business partner). I know all these things, and I'm still sad. So I am writing this for you as a reminder that sometimes it is sad. Sometimes moving in the right direction can be scary or sad. I also wanted to remind you that just because something feels sad, that doesn't make it a bad thing. Just be in the moment, allow yourself some space to feel your sadness and then move forward.

So today I'm going to do whatever I feel like. I'll pamper myself a little and just see what happens. Tomorrow I'll focus on my family and visitors who are coming. And Monday it's time to move forward. I'll do things that move me forward in my life - and if I'm still sad that's okay too.

Finding Your Path Through the Muck

I met an amazing woman this week. She is choosing to walk through the muck in her life right now and it is incredible to watch what is happening.

Joan is a woman who loves horses and appreciates people. As her family has moved through their life, she and her daughter discovered the amazing healing ability in both people and horses. After a particularly difficult time in her daughter's life a horse helped her heal. Now Joan has started a horse rescue ranch and is inviting people in to both help with the horses and to help themselves heal. Through her own pain she found her path in life - this ranch.

So again I remind you that pain isn't always something to run from. Often times it is the pain in our lives that brings us the greatest joy. It is the pain that teaches us lessons, it is the pain that shows us the way. So choose carefully and know that if it is your time to walk through some muck that the pain is part of the journey to your extraordinary life.

My Walk Through the Muck

We were talking about walking through the muck. I came up with that phrase a couple years ago when I was doing exactly that. I was going through a difficult, exciting, painful period of growth in my life. It was a time for me to learn a lot about myself and to make some real choices about what I wanted. What I remember most vividly is sitting in a Panera Bread with a good friend (who also happens to be a business partner) and talking through some feelings. I was feeling tired, scared and beaten up. But I remember sitting there and telling her, "I hate this. I'm tired of this, I don't want to do it anymore . . . and I can't go back. I'm going forward, whatever happens."

In that moment I realized that I had changed, and my view of what my life can be had changed so much that I couldn't go back to living the life I had been living. Wow! That sounds really dramatic. What's funny about it is that anyone looking in from the outside wouldn't see any real changes in my life. I wasn't talking about where I lived, who I lived with, selling my business, changing my work or any of the outward, obvious things about my life. I was talking about who I am, how I see the world and how I act and respond in my everyday life. I'm sure my husband can tell you I've changed, and a few close friends, but probably no one else. And yet my world is completely different. And I am incredibly grateful.

I'm telling you this story so you can know a few things. 1.) It really is worth walking through the muck. 2.) It helps to have a friend who will support you, so let someone in on your struggles (but choose someone who will support you and nudge you forward). 3.) Don't assume that a better life has to mean tremendous outward change. A shift inside yourself can bring you the greatest joy.

Today I wish for you the strength and perseverence to walk through the muck and a heart filled with gratitude for every step of the journey.

Walking Through the Muck

I've seen quite a few quotes regarding our struggles and how they make us stronger. That is so true and yet there's more. When we choose to go forward in the face of our adversity, when we know that we can't live the life we were living and we just have to follow a new path, when we do that in spite of the fact that it is difficult, we are not only getting stronger, we are learning what we need to know in order to live a meaningful life.

I listen to people who have "made it". They are successful in the sense that they are living a life they love, doing something they love. Often times they are standing in front of an audience telling their story, telling about the path they walked to get where they are now. If you watch the audience, and listen to their comments afterwards, it is fascinating. Everyone is in awe of this person. They are buzzing about how great their life is and how LUCKY they are. Lucky? Did they just listen to the same talk I did? I didn't hear anything about luck. Usually I just heard about a very difficult life, or a very painful situation that the speaker chose to move out of. I heard about faith, persistence, perseverence, listening to and trusting oneself as you move forward. I heard about a journey that felt like walking through a swamp with pockets of quicksand. And I heard about coming out the other side - about the sweetness and joy of reaching the extraordinary life on the other side. I heard how the journey through the muck was worth it, not only because of what they found on the other side, but because of what they learned while they were in the muck. The rumblings in the room after the talk are proof of how worthwhile the journey is. Everyone is buzzing about reaching the other side. Today I want to remind you that the journey through the muck is a beautiful, difficult part of the journey, and it is worth every step. Choose to keep moving forward!

The Power of Money: One family sees the power of 1/2

I read an article about a family who decided to make a major change in their own lives in order to make a major difference in the lives of others. The action was prompted by one of their children and the questions they asked about money and the less fortunate when they saw an obviously wealthy individual giving money to a homeless man. In the course of these discussions about money the family decided to sell their house, move into one 1/2 the size, and donate 1/2 the proceeds to a charity that helps families in 3rd world countries create sustainable food supplies. They said they started to see the power of 1/2 and what a difference it could make.

I love this story for 2 reasons:
1) This family understands the power of money. They are not allowing money to control their lives, but rather are using it to shape the world. They are clear about the role of money and are choosing to leverage the power of it in an amazing way.

2) They saw an opportunity to live their beliefs and make a lasting impact on the world. Not only did they choose to make that impact, they did it in a very personal way. A home is very personal and they chose to trade theirs in as a way of impacting the world. It is a choice that the entire family is part of. The exitement, the work, the joy and the sacrifice that come from this are shared by the entire family. It is an incredible choice, and an incredible life lesson, not only for their family, but for those of us who read their story.

What choices are you making? What power are you giving money in your life? Is it running your life or are you harnessing that power and putting it in its proper place?

To read the entire story visit the CNN story.

Be an otter

I remember a conversation I had with a friend many years ago. I asked her, "If you could be any animal in the world what would you be?" Her answer ... a sea otter. She wanted to be an otter because they play. Not just the babies, not just once in a while. All otters like to play, and they look like they're having a great time.

I've been thinking about this lately as I am redirecting some of my time. I had gotten into a "work" jag where I am either working on my businesses, working on my personal stuff, or working on my education. In fact, even my relaxation time started to feel like work. So I am making the choice to play.

What are you choosing to do? Are you having fun? Are you choosing to rest, relax and rejuvenate? Remember the otter and remember that we all need to play.

Being the miracle

I received one of those story type emails today - you know the kind where you wonder if it's true and if it's not someone has a great gift for story telling. Well I am sharing a piece of one with you today.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave m e, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

Whether it's true or not this story was a reminder to me about the choices we have in our daily life. We can choose to rush from place to place and live from task to task, or we can participate in life and be open to opportunities like this - times when we can be the miracle in someone's life.

Bailing on your life during a busy time

Wow! What a great time! As many of you noticed I've been out of touch for a while. The reason is that I went on vacation. I had pushed myself really hard and when an opportunity to go on vacation popped up I went. And, once again, this was a story of choices.

Many of you know that besides my work helping people make choices that improve their lives and businesses I also co-own http://www.reclaimu.com/. Well, we've been extrememly busy with the current launch of the Phoenix Center which guides and supports people who are ready to make some new choices and move in new directions. We launched with the basics and had some amazing ideas for growing and expanding. That means we started pushing ourselves like mad to get them done and out there so people can use them. Then, in the midst of major updates and a ton of work needing to be completed, I chose to leave town. Not only did I leave town, I went backpacking with my husband with no cell phone access - and it's the best thing I ever could have done for my business and for my personal life.

Many of you have heard me talk about making the choices that you know are right for you. I encourage you to do what you know in your gut is right, even when the choice doesn't seem to be the most logical one. This was an example of exactly that. In a situation where there is a ton of work to be done, my business partner is preparing to move, and we have a good product that is ready to be made into a great one, I chose to leave. That was a choice I knew was right in my gut even though it may not have looked logical on the surface. And by going someplace where I could recharge my batteries and fill myself up again I have come back with better focus, better perspective and the ability to get more done in less time.

You really do know what is right for you. And as you learn to listen to your gut, your intuition, that little voice inside, I encourage you to trust it and to follow it.

I wish you an extraordinary life!